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Episode 13: When No is Your Default Setting

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Operator/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Phase II: Change Bad Habits

During our podcast, Tony advised you to have a default setting of “no” because it’s a safe bet. Do, however, think about it and be open to changing your mind.

He had other tips, too:

  • If you say “no,” use the time it gives you to determine if you can indeed do or buy what your partner is proposing.
  • Be aware that if you always say “no,” your partner may end up resenting you for it.
  • Learn to be balanced with your responses. Saying “yes” all the time can be a problem, too.

During our podcast, Jill said that you should give thought to each question your partner poses, instead of having an automatic response like a reflex.

She also has more advice:

  • If your partner says “no” often, ask for the reasons why, but only if you are ready for the answer. Do not ask questions that you in which you really don’t want to know the answers.
  • Strive to compromise in situations in which you disagree. That way, neither of you resents the other.
  • Empower each other to make decisions on the little things without permission from the other.

Have you tried any of these tips? Which ones worked for you? Leave your answers in the comments section. Subscribe to our blog, so that you don’t miss anything.

2 comments on “Episode 13: When No is Your Default Setting

  1. Mary Ellen Vogel says:

    I was happy to hear this segment because it points out how different people can be from one another. Denis actually hates to say no. He really wants to be the “can do ” guy, and he’ll agree to more than he should. I tend to be cautious because it bothers me when I can’t follow through on things. Denis says it’s self doubt. He says that he has self doubt as well but just doesn’t think about what he’s agreeing to. Now in our seventies (early seventies, I might add–don’t want to give the impression we a slow learners) I think we’re coming to grips with these issues. Still have to listen to episode 12. Dare I say it? There have been times I’ve felt Denis tunes me out.

    1. @jillccwrites2 says:

      Thanks for commenting. It is indeed funny how different people can be. Jill had to learn to say no, so a part of her admires Tony to be able to do it so carefree. We always appreciate your comments, so we look forward to your response after you listen to episode 12.

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