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Episode 20: When You’re Blamed for Everything

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Hold Yourself Accountable

In this week’s episode, Tony admitted that he often blames Jill for things that aren’t her fault. By the end of the episode, he told listeners to try to change that habit, if they, too, often blame others for everything. He offered other advice:

  • Consider how blame affects your partner. Adjust accordingly.
  • Choose your words wisely with everyone, but especially when you feel the need to accuse your partner of something.
  • If you’re lucky, your partner may understand that you just don’t know how to properly ask a question.

During the episode, Jill conceded that she knows that Tony does not mean any harm when he accuses her of things she had nothing to do with; she’s learned to tolerate it. She has other tips as well:

  • Remember that words and tone both matter.
  • Train people to treat you the way you wanted to be treated.
  • Let your partners know your deal breakers early in your relationship.

What advice do you have? Leave your responses in the comments section.

7 comments on “Episode 20: When You’re Blamed for Everything

  1. Mary Ellen Vogel says:

    Denis used to ask me where things were and something in his demeanor/tone said what did you do with it without him actually saying what did you do with it. I have to admit to feeling a bit of guilt over these lost items because I do pick things up and stash them in an effort to straighten the house. Once he had me going through my pockets and purses for lost car keys until after months of looking he found them in his closet. I believe that was the watershed moment when he stopping thinking I’m the one who loses everything. And we were able to resolve this issue after only 35/40 years of marriage!

    1. @jillccwrites2 says:

      After only 35/40 years of marriage, huh? Wow! Guess we won’t see that in our lifetime. Lol!

      1. Mary Ellen Vogel says:

        You are far more precocious than we ever were.

      2. @jillccwrites2 says:

        Lol! We don’t think that is true. When we think of the two of you, we think of #relationshipgoals.

  2. Mary Ellen Vogel says:

    Ps. Love the thought that we must train people to treat us the way we want to be treated.

    1. @jillccwrites2 says:

      Thanks! Don’t know why Tony keeps laughing about that tip, though.

      1. Mary Ellen Vogel says:

        Hmmmmm, I can’t imagine.

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