Episode 21: Do Age Gaps Matter?
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness
Age: Just a number?
In this episode, Tony and Jill actually agreed that age differences should not matter, as long as one isn’t in a position of power over the other. In fact, Tony urged listeners to not pursue their professor.
He had other thoughts as well on the topic:
- An age difference in a relationship shouldn’t matter as long as the two of you are equally yoked and love each other.
- If one person is 18, and the other is 45, this is probably a case where age matters. The 18-year-old brain is not developed enough to understand what they are truly getting into. This also applies to teacher and student relationships.
- Older women with younger men can be a good thing if they’re both looking for the same thing. But older men with women that are 40 years younger may not be a good thing. In this case, each person is in the relationship for different reasons. They may say they’re in love, but what kind of love is it? Time will tell. Â
Jill said that if you find you’re compatible with someone, don’t let an age difference stop you from seeing where the relationship will go, unless, of course, one has power over the other.
She had other thoughts, too:
- If you find yourself consistently attracted to someone older, but the relationship never works out, don’t be afraid to date someone who is younger or your age. Remember that you cannot expect different results, if you keep doing the same thing.
- Stay open to seeing who people really are. Often, all is not what it seems.
- Determine why you and your partner want to be in the relationship. Some just want to have fun, while others want a commitment. Make sure the two of you are on the same page.
Do you believe that age is just a number when it comes to relationships? Why or why not? Leave your answers in the comments section.
As we age, a ten-year age gap is not the same as when we were younger. A 27-year-old is far older than a 17-year-old—however a 40-year-old is like a contemporary to a thirty-year-old. But a fifty-year age difference! I really don’t think a 75-year-old should try to be a contemporary to a 25-year-old. She could end up in position of caregiver very soon. Is that how she should spend her youth? Perhaps they’ll work out these concerns, but I’m glad I didn’t do that. I mean I’ll be happy to care for Denis after all our years together and being old myself, as I think he will be happy to take care of me, but five-ten good years and then what? I think he and her family should shield her from this mistake.
I remember hearing Bill Clinton’s impeachment trail and realizing that Monica Lewinsky pursued him, but still he is guilty for not resisting a 22-year-old. However I don’t believe him to be the predator that Trump is. Everything is relative.
Tony was wise not to marry someone too close to his daughter’s age and avoided many potential hard feelings that way, I think. We know a couple who are 23 years apart in age. He was 55 and she was 32 when they met. While the marriage is fine, his daughters are very resentful of her being so close to them in age, and they ignore their 10-year-old half sister.
I had an aunt and uncle who were 15 or 16 years a part in age (both gone now). He was Canadian by birth, she was British and they lived in London, England. They told us that an age difference like theirs was okay if the woman initiated the relationship. Neither talked about protocol for a younger man and older woman, maybe just not done.
Okay—for what it’s worth that’s what I think. Perhaps I’m not as open minded as I should be on this issue. Lol
All excellent points! Thanks for your continued support.