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In All Seriousness

Coded Relationships

In this week’s relationship, Jill and Tony discussed facets of the bro code and sistah/girlfriend code. For example, women often live by an unspoken rule that anyone they are interested in is off limits to their friends.That often applies to when the friend is in the relationship with her love interest… and after it ends, too.

Tony took the conversation to a completely different place when he first described what’s included in the bro code. If you missed it, you’ll just have to listen to the episode.

In the meantime, Tony advised listeners to keep their number of close friends to a minimum. He said you should have only a few close friends, and some may even seem like or better than family.

He also has other tips:

• Embrace having friendship codes if they enhance the respect level and create appropriate boundaries.
• Be aware that some codes–the bro code, for example– can create an environment for cheating. Pay attention.
• Discuss friendship codes with your friends and your partner. Transparency is great for relationships..

Jill also told listeners that to have good friends, you must be a good one. Lead by example.

She also has other advice:

• Know who your true friends are. Not everyone is your friend.
• Build all of your relationships on trust. Without it, what’s the point?
• Respect your friend’s relationships with others, even those you personally do not care for. Surround yourself with people who respect your relationships, too.

What codes do you think friends and partners should have? What have you experienced that worked or failed? Please leave your responses in our comments section. Let us know what you thought of this episode too, while you’re at it.