Writing

Episode 20: When You’re Blamed for Everything

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Hold Yourself Accountable

In this week’s episode, Tony admitted that he often blames Jill for things that aren’t her fault. By the end of the episode, he told listeners to try to change that habit, if they, too, often blame others for everything. He offered other advice:

  • Consider how blame affects your partner. Adjust accordingly.
  • Choose your words wisely with everyone, but especially when you feel the need to accuse your partner of something.
  • If you’re lucky, your partner may understand that you just don’t know how to properly ask a question.

During the episode, Jill conceded that she knows that Tony does not mean any harm when he accuses her of things she had nothing to do with; she’s learned to tolerate it. She has other tips as well:

  • Remember that words and tone both matter.
  • Train people to treat you the way you wanted to be treated.
  • Let your partners know your deal breakers early in your relationship.

What advice do you have? Leave your responses in the comments section.

Episode 19: Do Real Men Cry?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Allow Yourself to Be Moved

In this week’s episode, Jill encouraged listeners to be who they are. She told everyone that if they feel moved to cry, then there is no shame in doing so. Tony agreed, but added that everyone, especially men, need to be selective about where they are seen crying.

Tony had more thoughts on the topic for men:

  • There appears to be a double standard for men and women when it comes to crying, and that’s sad. Maybe one day it will be okay for men to cry whenever they feel the need to do so.
  • With that said, it is fine if a man cries at a funeral or if he cries because someone hurt him or his feelings.
  • If you find yourself crying all the time for no apparent reason, you might be depressed. Please seek professional help.

Jill has more to say as well:

  • Yes, crying can indeed be a sign of depression. Do not be ashamed to talk to a professional about it.
  • Remember that crying can also indicate that you are a human who can be moved.
  • If you feel the need to cry at work, excuse yourself and do it privately. Otherwise, that can work against you. Also if work brings you to a breaking point often, you may want to consider finding another job or career.

Do you believe it’s okay if men and women cry? What advice do you have to offer? Please leave your comments and response in the comments section.

Episode 18: Do People Think You’re Fake? Tips

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Be Who You Are

In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony actually agreed that you should be who you are, instead of being someone you’re not, a fake.

Tony had more to add:

  • If you find yourself fighting often with your partner, try talking to each other. Tell them what you love about them, but also voice your concerns. Consider talking to a relationship expert together. If all fails, be courageous and leave the relationship.
  • If you are a single person, look for someone who is your friend and your lover.
  • Do not settle for anyone. Take your time to find the right match for you.

Jill also has some advice:

  • Do not dwell on what others say about you or your relationships. This is your life, your business, not theirs.
  • In the words of Maya Angelou, “If someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
  • Remember that no one is perfect, including you. Recognize what you can tolerate in others, and what your deal breakers are. Give them a chance to do the same with your flaws.

Do you ever get accused of being fake? How have you handled that situation? Leave your comments. We’d love it if you subscribed, too.

Episode 17: Do you Have a Right to Complain if you Volunteered to do Something?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova https://jillcoxcordova.com/
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Do’s and Don’ts for Volunteers

During this week’s podcast, Jill advised listeners to only volunteer to do what they truly enjoy tackling. If the project turns out to be much more labor than expected, push through and maybe tell the person all that you did to complete the project at a later date.

Tony also urged listeners to keep volunteering if they like doing it. He said that if you find the need to complain, it’s okay to do it every now and then, but complain to yourself.

Here are more do’s and don’ts from Tony:

  • If you have never volunteered before, try it. You may find it rewarding.
  • Don’t take on too much. Be sure to always make time to do the things you enjoy doing for yourself.
  • Service with a smile is always best. Yes, that project may be more work than you anticipated, but complain to yourself, not them.

Jill also has more advice:

  • Don’t volunteer for the sake of volunteering. Do it because you truly want to help others.
  • Learn to say no without remorse. When people know your abilities, they may often ask you to utilize them for free. If you find yourself stretched too thin or are more aware of how much they are asking you to do than they realize, talk it out. Maybe even ask for help. If they still consider it a one-person job, just say “no.” They will always find someone else to do it.
  • If volunteering feels like more work than your actual job, then recognize that you are either doing too much or maybe you need to volunteer elsewhere.

Do you do volunteer work? How much is too much? Should you complain? Leave your responses in the comments section. Don’t forget to subscribe.

Episode 16: When Both of you are Creative

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Respect Each Other’s Creative Work

In this week’s episode, it took awhile, but Tony finally came around to Jill’s stance. He told the audience to listen to their partner, whereas Jill suggested that as well, but also advised listeners to follow it up with action.

Tony had more tips, of course:

  • Be open to compromise. Talk it out.
  • If you are unable to easily reach a compromise, consider giving in. A great relationship isn’t worth a small issue that escalates into a full-fledged argument.
  • If you find that you and partner argue a lot anyway, then you may need the help of a therapist. There’s no shame in seeking help when you need it.

Jill also has more advice:

  • Know the difference between hearing your partner and active listening. The latter often prevents arguments.
  • Don’t make everything a battle. If the topic is small to you, let your partner have his/her way.
  • Respect creativity. Often, it is an outlet to de-stress.

Are you and your partner both creative? How do you navigate? Leave your responses in the comments section. Please remember to subscribe.

Episode 14: Please Just let me Watch my Show

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Operator/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Some other heading

During our podcast, Jill said that if you have different televisions in your home, then watch your favorite shows separately, if your partner hates what you watch.

She has other tips to make your TV viewing experience an enjoyable one:

  • If you don’t watch TV together, schedule time for just the two of you to connect. That way, you make up for that lost time.
  • Be open to watching your partner’s shows, even if you don’t like it. This shows your partner what to do when the roles are reversed.
  • Don’t criticize your partner’s favorite shows or activities. Accept that the two of you can have completely different tastes, but still be compatible in the categories that matter the most.

During our podcast, Tony

Episode 13: When No is Your Default Setting

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Operator/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

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In All Seriousness

Phase II: Change Bad Habits

During our podcast, Tony advised you to have a default setting of “no” because it’s a safe bet. Do, however, think about it and be open to changing your mind.

He had other tips, too:

  • If you say “no,” use the time it gives you to determine if you can indeed do or buy what your partner is proposing.
  • Be aware that if you always say “no,” your partner may end up resenting you for it.
  • Learn to be balanced with your responses. Saying “yes” all the time can be a problem, too.

During our podcast, Jill said that you should give thought to each question your partner poses, instead of having an automatic response like a reflex.

She also has more advice:

  • If your partner says “no” often, ask for the reasons why, but only if you are ready for the answer. Do not ask questions that you in which you really don’t want to know the answers.
  • Strive to compromise in situations in which you disagree. That way, neither of you resents the other.
  • Empower each other to make decisions on the little things without permission from the other.

Have you tried any of these tips? Which ones worked for you? Leave your answers in the comments section. Subscribe to our blog, so that you don’t miss anything.

Episode 12: When Your Partner Tunes you Out

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

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In All Seriousness

Are you Listening?

During our podcast, Tony advised you to listen to your partner. You may learn something important.

He has other tips, too:

  • Do not just think of yourself. Listen to your partner. He or she may say something that will help both of you grow.
  • Listen, even when it’s something you don’t want to hear. This will help you understand who your partner really is. You might learn something about yourself, too.
  • If you find that you and your partner can never find the time to talk to each other, that could be a sign of a bigger problem. It might be time to seek professional help.

During the podcast, Jill also suggested that you try to focus or have scheduled time to talk and really hear each other.

She has other advice as well:

  • Repeat back what you think your partner said to you. This allows both of you the chance to see and get on the same page.
  • Consider having dates in which you just sit, talk, and enjoy each other’s company.
  • Listen. There’s a difference between hearing somebody and listening. Listen.

What do you do to make sure you hear your partner? Answer in the comments section. Subscribe to our blog, so that you don’t miss anything.

Episode 11: Signs That Your Partner Knows you Better Than you Know Yourself

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Operator/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

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In All Seriousness

Embrace Your Partner’s Encouragement

During our podcast, Tony advised you to cherish when your partner says she/better knows than you know yourself because they are often just trying to encourage you.

Per usual, he has other tips for you:

  • Try to remember that your partner might be able to see something in you, that you can’t see. It could be something positive, or it might be something negative. Try not to become angry, if they have something negative to point out about you.
  • If you have to let your partner know about something that they say or do that is negative, be sure to point out something positive about them first. It will go a long way in ensuring that you have a happy and loving relationship.
  • Be sure you tell your partner the things you love about them, as often as possible. Both women and men love to hear that they are loved and appreciated.  

Meanwhile, during the podcast, Jill said you should try to see your partner’s talents and then support those abilities. Uplift each other because you’re better together.

She also has more advice:

  • Just as you should strive to see each other, also know, as Maya Angelou once said, that when a person shows who he/she really is, believe him/her.
  • Be willing to help your partner and also be helped.
  • Express gratitude daily that you are glad your partner is in your life.

What suggestions do you have to add? Leave your answers in the comments section. Subscribe to our blog, so that you don’t miss any.

Episode 10: What is the Proper Response When Your Partner is Upset With You?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Operator/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

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In All Seriousness

When Laughter Leads to More Anger

In our podcast, Jill advised you to respect your partner’s emotions, especially when they are angry.

She also has more tips:

  • Express what you’re feeling with love. If you yell and scream to show your anger, your partner may not truly hear you.
  • Be open to your partner’s response, if he or she offers a reason for their actions that got you upset in the first place. Maybe it’s all a misunderstanding about intention.
  • Don’t make everything a battle. Ask yourself if the issue is something you can tolerate or is it really worth an argument.

During our podcast, Tony also finally–finally–admitted that laughter probably isn’t the best immediate response to your partner’s anger. In fact, he now realizes that laughing can make your partner get even more upset with you.

He has three more tips to avoid that:

  • Be empathetic and sympathetic when your partner is upset with you.
  • Give your partner time to see the humor in the situation. When that happens, laughter is a good thing.
  • Continue to love each other. Understand that anger often isn’t worth the negative energy that comes with it. 

Are you willing to try our advice? What has worked for you in the past? Post your answers in the comments section.