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Episode 36: When Friendship Codes Matter

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Coded Relationships

In this week’s relationship, Jill and Tony discussed facets of the bro code and sistah/girlfriend code. For example, women often live by an unspoken rule that anyone they are interested in is off limits to their friends.That often applies to when the friend is in the relationship with her love interest… and after it ends, too.

Tony took the conversation to a completely different place when he first described what’s included in the bro code. If you missed it, you’ll just have to listen to the episode.

In the meantime, Tony advised listeners to keep their number of close friends to a minimum. He said you should have only a few close friends, and some may even seem like or better than family.

He also has other tips:

  • Embrace having friendship codes if they enhance the respect level and create appropriate boundaries.
  • Be aware that some codes–the bro code, for example– can create an environment for cheating. Pay attention.
  • Discuss friendship codes with your friends and your partner. Transparency is great for relationships..

Jill also told listeners that to have good friends, you must be a good one. Lead by example.

She also has other advice:

  • Know who your true friends are. Not everyone is your friend.
  • Build all of your relationships on trust. Without it, what’s the point?
  • Respect your friend’s relationships with others, even those you personally do not care for. Surround yourself with people who respect your relationships, too.

What codes do you think friends and partners should have? What have you experienced that worked or failed? Please leave your responses in our comments section. Let us know what you thought of this episode too, while you’re at it.

Episode 35: Forget Imaginary Friends: Imaginary Conversations are In

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

Imaginary Conversations

In this week’s episode, Jill brought up Tony’s habit of having conversations in his head that he thought they had aloud.

Jill was baffled about what to do about it, but still managed to advise listeners to either choose between making your partner aware of the situation or mess with your mate by making fun of the situation.

She also has other tips:

  • Consider whether there is a real issue. It could be something that the two of you laugh about or maybe it is indicative of something a little more serious
  • Pick and choose your battles. If it isn’t a real problem, don’t make it one.
  • Don’t take yourself so seriously. Live life with light and love.

Meanwhile, although Tony didn’t think he had this issue, he told listeners to not tell their partner if they have imaginary conversations. Of course, the issue is the person having these discussions in their head may not realize it.

He gave the following advice:

  • If your partner thinks they have said something to you out loud, but really only thought it, you should bare with them. It’s probably because they feel so connected to you. It’s nothing to worry about.
  • Watch their clues of smiling and laughing when they tell you about yourself. That means the situation is funny to them.
  • If your partner becomes angry when you discuss it, however, take the issue seriously. Perhaps your partner needs professional help.

Can you relate to this same situation? If so, what do you do about it? Leave your responses in the comments section.

Episode 34: How Much Should you Reveal About Your Past?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

Don’t Talk too Much, but don’t keep too many secrets either

In this week’s episode, Tony and Jill discussed how much you should tell your partner about your past. We all have one, after all.

Tony urged listeners to be honest with their partner and with themselves.

He also has more advice:

  • Some people hide what they don’t want others to see. Don’t do that. Remember that when you hide yourself from others, you hide from yourself, too.
  • Decide what you want out of the relationship. Determining this can help you decide how much to reveal about your past.
  • Ultimately, how much you decide to divulge is up to you.

Jill told listeners to show who they really are. She also has more tips:

  • Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not, so when you’re talking about your past, don’t downplay or exaggerate.
  • Be a good listener when your partner is telling you about his or her past. You’ll likely learn a lot about what you can and cannot tolerate long-term.
  • Above all, establish open communication lines, whether it’s talking about your past or present. Secrets usually come to light at some point, but try not to overwhelm someone you’ve just met by telling him or her everything. Pace yourself.

How much do you think is too much to divulge about your past? Has this ever been an issue for you? Leave your answers in the comments section. Thanks and keep listening. We appreciate your support.

Episode 33: Why do People Cheat?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

Don’t Commit to a Cheater

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In this week’s episode, we discussed many reasons why some people cheat, and their partners stay with them.

We both urged listeners to be honest with themselves and their partners about the situation.

Tony also has some other tips to offer:

  • If you are a person that cheats on your partner. Take a moment to try to figure out why.
  • Also think about the person you’re cheating on. How would you feel if they cheated on you? If you don’t care how it affects your partner emotionally, please try to be nice enough to let them go, if they don’t have the strength to leave you.
  • Please, please, please, if you are the person that’s being cheated on, find the strength to leave them. You are worth more than that, you deserve better than that. Love yourself.

Jill also has some advice for listeners:

  • If you find that partner after partner cheats on you, try to determine why.
  • If you end a relationship because your partner cheats on you, don’t feel like you have to tell everyone or anyone. Some so-called friends have a tendency to make you feel worse about it. So, only tell others if it makes you feel better to release the truth.
  • Don’t try to change a cheater. You only have control of yourself.

Have you ever cheated on someone or been in a relationship with a cheater? How did that relationship play out? Leave your comments below. Don’t forget to catch up on any missed episodes.

Episode 32: Are You a Good Listener?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

Listen to Learn

In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony both urged you to take time to listen to your partner. You might even learn something.

Tony also has more advice:

  • Recognize that being a good listener strengthens your relationship.
  • Not a good listener? Try not to interrupt until your partner is finished speaking.
  • Remember that if you want and need be to heard, show your partner the same respect. Listening to your partner shows them how much you care for them and their thoughts.

Jill also has more tips:

  • Strive to talk to each other, not at each other.
  • Make time each day to have real conversations with each other.
  • Feel you’re not being heard? Talk it out. Lead by example.

Are you and your partner both good listeners? What do you do when you realize you haven’t been heard? If you’re the one who isn’t a good listener, what are you going to do to improve?

Leave your responses in the comments section.

Episode 31: Do you Feel Trapped?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

Free Yourself

This week’s episode included a lot of tips about how to free yourself if you’re feeling trapped in your relationship, your life.

Tony has several more suggestions to offer:

  • Determine the root of why you feel trapped.
  • Be honest with yourself about whether you or your partner is the problem. You both might have added to the situation.
  • You–not your friends or family–make the choice about what you need to do about it.

Jill also has more advice:

  • Understand there is always a way out.
  • Be willing to do all that you can to fix the issue.
  • But if none of your efforts work, be strong and courageous. Leave to live a better life.

Have you ever felt trapped? What did you do about it? Leave your answers in the comments section. Don’t forget to subscribe or tell us your topic ideas.

Episode 30: Is Your Picker Off? A PG-Rated Production

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Be Happy With Yourself

In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony agreed that the best way to choose a partner who is perfect for you is to first determine who you are, what you like, and stay true to yourself.

Tony also has other suggestions for people in relationships:

  • Understand that we often choose partners who are like our parents, or we become the dysfunctional parents that raised us. Avoid this for a healthy and loving relationship.
  • Listen to the people who are closest to you; they love you and have your best interests at heart.
  • Let the people closest to you check out the person you’re interested in. If they say that they’re not a good match you, chances are they are right. Take their advice, and end the relationship.

Jill also has some advice:

  • Trust your gut. It’s probably right.
  • Try not to have a type. If your picker is off, your “type” isn’t working for you.
  • Be open to falling in love with someone who doesn’t have all the things on your list of ideal traits. Remember that no one is perfect. Prioritize what trait are the most important to you.

Have you found the right person for you? How long did it take you? How did you know they were the right person? Leave your answers in the comments section.

Episode 29: Do You Need Time and Space to be Alone?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

Be You: Make Time for Yourself

In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony agreed that there’s nothing wrong with spending time and space away from your partner every now and then, but don’t do it too much.

Jill told listeners to take time for self-care.

She has more advice:

  • Recognize who you are as a couple and who you are as an individual. Learn to love both identities.
  • Take turns doing what your partner likes to do and doing what you enjoy as well. Don’t make it one-sided.
  • Don’t forget your friends, unless you find they are not good for you or your relationship.

Meanwhile, Tony also advised listeners to do things on your own occasionally.

He has a few more tips:

  • Remember who you are as a person. Retaining who you are as an individual is important.
  • Don’t overdo it. Spending too much time with your friends or alone can be a sign that there may be a problem in your relationship.
  • Create a balance in your relationship. Talk to your partner; find out what works best for both of you.

What has worked for you? Which of these tips have you tried? Leave your answers in the comments section. Don’t forget to subscribe or catch up on listening to all of our episodes.

Episode 28: The Green Acres Edition


Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

Compromising Differences

In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony compromised on Tony’s idea to spend time in the country for an entire month.

Tony suggested that you keep an open mind if you have a partner who encourages you to try new things. You may even enjoy yourself.

He also has other advice:

  • Avoid getting stuck in a rut doing the same things. Try to do something you didn’t think you would like.
  • Embrace finding the many ways to add joy to your life.
  • Understand that your partner may be able to see what will make you happy before you do.

During the episode, Jill suggested that you try things at least once, but with the understanding that it’s okay if you don’t enjoy it enough to ever do it again.

She has other tips:

  • Stay true to who you are. Your trying something your partner likes doesn’t mean you have to stop doing what you enjoy.
  • Retain your identity. Sometimes it’s easy to get lost in your identity as a couple. Remember that you are individuals, too.
  • Don’t be afraid to compromise. When done right, both partners win.

Has your partner pushed you to do something you didn’t really want to do? How did you resolve that situation? Leave your answers in the comments section. Also tell us what topics you’d like to see us cover. Don’t forget to subscribe.

Episode 27: Do You Take Enough Risks?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

Live Your Life

In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony agreed that in order to grow, we all must do things outside of our comfort zones.

Jill has additional advice:

  • If you find yourself reluctant to try new things, truly weigh the pros against the cons.
  • Try at least one new thing a month.
  • If you’re in a relationship, chances are that you have separate interests. If you try something your partner enjoys, it can open up many possibilities for you and increase the bond the two of you have.

Tony has some suggestions, too.

  • It’s a great idea to take risks while in a relationship, especially if you take risks together.
  • There are all types of risk, of course. Take ones that move you out of your comfort zone.
  • Some risks can be dangerous, like skydiving, or scrubber driving, or maybe riding a motorcycle at 130 mph. Those may make you feel alive. Whatever risks you decide to take, try to do it with your partner before the end of the year.

What risks have you taken lately? What do you do to get yourself out of your comfort zone? Leave your answers in the comments section. Don’t forget to subscribe and listen to previous episodes, if you aren’t caught up on listening to our podcast.

Thanks for your support.