Writing

Episode 28: The Green Acres Edition


Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

Compromising Differences

In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony compromised on Tony’s idea to spend time in the country for an entire month.

Tony suggested that you keep an open mind if you have a partner who encourages you to try new things. You may even enjoy yourself.

He also has other advice:

  • Avoid getting stuck in a rut doing the same things. Try to do something you didn’t think you would like.
  • Embrace finding the many ways to add joy to your life.
  • Understand that your partner may be able to see what will make you happy before you do.

During the episode, Jill suggested that you try things at least once, but with the understanding that it’s okay if you don’t enjoy it enough to ever do it again.

She has other tips:

  • Stay true to who you are. Your trying something your partner likes doesn’t mean you have to stop doing what you enjoy.
  • Retain your identity. Sometimes it’s easy to get lost in your identity as a couple. Remember that you are individuals, too.
  • Don’t be afraid to compromise. When done right, both partners win.

Has your partner pushed you to do something you didn’t really want to do? How did you resolve that situation? Leave your answers in the comments section. Also tell us what topics you’d like to see us cover. Don’t forget to subscribe.

Episode 27: Do You Take Enough Risks?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

Live Your Life

In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony agreed that in order to grow, we all must do things outside of our comfort zones.

Jill has additional advice:

  • If you find yourself reluctant to try new things, truly weigh the pros against the cons.
  • Try at least one new thing a month.
  • If you’re in a relationship, chances are that you have separate interests. If you try something your partner enjoys, it can open up many possibilities for you and increase the bond the two of you have.

Tony has some suggestions, too.

  • It’s a great idea to take risks while in a relationship, especially if you take risks together.
  • There are all types of risk, of course. Take ones that move you out of your comfort zone.
  • Some risks can be dangerous, like skydiving, or scrubber driving, or maybe riding a motorcycle at 130 mph. Those may make you feel alive. Whatever risks you decide to take, try to do it with your partner before the end of the year.

What risks have you taken lately? What do you do to get yourself out of your comfort zone? Leave your answers in the comments section. Don’t forget to subscribe and listen to previous episodes, if you aren’t caught up on listening to our podcast.

Thanks for your support.

Episode 26: Mr. Jill: An Insult or a Joke?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

What’s in a Name?

In this week’s episode, Jill said to avoid dwelling on labels or titles that others give you.

Instead, she suggests doing the following:

  • Understand that you will encounter people who will call you something besides your name. Determine why they did it. Chances are they are just joking. If they aren’t, tell them how you feel.
  • Realize that some people just want to give you nicknames. Feel free to return the favor.
  • Know who you are, so that you can tell and show others when you need to do so.

In this week’s episode, Tony told listeners to not tell their partner if they were called a name that would make the other one seem demanding or bossy.

He has other tips, too:

  • Titles can mean a lot to some people while in a relationship, so if someone gives you a nickname that makes them and you smile, accept it. It’s all in fun.
  • Be able to laugh at yourself and to laugh with others about yourself. Try not to take everything so seriously.
  • Life is too special and short to worry about little things. Try loving one another.     

Have you experienced the same situation that Tony and Jill described. If so, what did you do about it? Leave your answers in the comments section. Don’t forget to subscribe and catch up on listening to our podcast.

Episode 25: How to Know You’re With the Right Person

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

No One is Perfect, but who is Perfect for You?

In this episode, there was no real debate. Instead, we discussed what we needed and wanted in a partner when we met. We also offered advice for you because you know, that’s what we do.

Tony told listeners to not rush into a relationship.

He also has the following suggestions:

  • Make sure that you are happy with yourself first. Another person will never be able to keep you happy, unless you are already happy.
  • Take your time. Make sure that you have many things in common, and that you have a physical and love attraction for each other. The right person for you should also be your best friend.
  • Be yourself. If you can’t be your true self around the person that you think is the right person you, this is a clear sign that you’re not with the right person. They are not your soul mate.

Jill also told listeners to not change who they are to attract someone.

She also has other tips:

  • Be honest with yourself about the things you can tolerate for the rest of your life.
  • Do not make everything a deal breaker.
  • Recognize that no one, including you, is perfect.

Who is your ideal partner? If you’re in a relationship, how did you know they’re the one? What topics would you like to hear us debate? Leave your responses in the comments section. Don’t forget to subscribe, if you haven’t already.

Episode 24: Are Your Friends Causing Problems in Your Relationship?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

Awkward Friend Zones

In this week’s podcast, Tony and Jill agreed that you should be able to have a relationship with a person who is of the sex that you’re attracted to. Of course, sometimes issues arise if someone feels that their relationship is threatened.

Jill advised listeners to communicate with each other if one felt uncomfortable with a friendship the other one has.

She has other tips:

  • Be aware of who your friends really are.
  • Listen to and respect your partner’s concern if he or she has a problem with your friend. You may be too close to the situation to truly see what is happening.
  • Don’t be afraid to drop a friend if you find that he or she is toxic to you or your relationship.

Tony advised people to stay aware of people who may have ulterior motives.

He has more thoughts on the topic:

  • It can be easier to have this kind of friendship if you grew up with the person in question, and you never developed any romantic feelings for each other.
  • If you develop a friendship with a person that you met at your job, be honest with your partner about it. Otherwise, this scenario often ends badly for both people.
  • Be honest with your partner and your friend from the start.

Have you tried any of these tips? What worked for you? Leave your answers in the comments section.

Episode 23: Who’s the Boss in Your Relationship?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

Split Roles Evenly

In this week’s episode, Tony told listeners that if they have a partner who thinks he/she/they are not bossy, then go ahead and let them believe it.

He also offered more tips:

  • Understand that every relationship is different. If one person is indeed the boss, and both people are fine with it, then all is well.
  • If both people are bossy, however, it doesn’t work because there cannot be two bosses in one household.
  • Both parties need to talk over all larger issues together. Strive to reach a wise discussion that is best for both of them.

Meanwhile, Jill told listeners that if one person needs the other to be the one in control, that’s fine, too. Know and understand each other’s needs.

She had other thoughts on the topic as well:

  • Understand that there are times to be the leader and times to be the follower. Many of the best relationships work because both parties understand that and assume and alternate their roles as needed.
  • Pay attention to how someone treats you before marriage. If you think that person is too bossy for you then, know that marriage does not fix that.
  • Remember that you can change someone’s bad behavior, but if you feel the need to change a person’s personality, you are with the wrong person.

Do you agree with these tips? Is there a clear boss in your relationship? Leave your answers in the comments section.

Episode 22: When Your Partner is More Likeable Than You

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Does Likeability Matter?

In this week’s episode, Tony advised listeners to be yourself. You can certainly strive for being liked, but you should remain authentic to who you really are.

So, does it matter if one partner is more likeable than the other?

Tony had the following to say on the topic:

  • No, it doesn’t matter. Just be happy that you are with someone that’s likeable
  • Look within yourself if your partner’s likeability bothers you. Perhaps the real issue is that there is something that you don’t like about yourself.
  • Be happy with yourself and your partner. This will go a long way in creating a loving and lasting relationship.

Jill agrees that it doesn’t matter who is more likeable. In fact, she urged listeners to move forward instead of trying to get people to like them.

She has more tips:

  • Accept that sometimes you will encounter people who will not like you, no matter what you say or do
  • Remind yourself from time to time about why you liked your mate in the first place
  • Do not change your personality for anybody.

Is your partner more likeable than you? Do you care? Have you ever tried any of these tips? Leave your answers in the comments section.

Episode 21: Do Age Gaps Matter?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Age: Just a number?

In this episode, Tony and Jill actually agreed that age differences should not matter, as long as one isn’t in a position of power over the other. In fact, Tony urged listeners to not pursue their professor.

He had other thoughts as well on the topic:

  • An age difference in a relationship shouldn’t matter as long as the two of you are equally yoked and love each other.
  • If one person is 18, and the other is 45, this is probably a case where age matters. The 18-year-old brain is not developed enough to understand what they are truly getting into. This also applies to teacher and student relationships.
  • Older women with younger men can be a good thing if they’re both looking for the same thing. But older men with women that are 40 years younger may not be a good thing. In this case, each person is in the relationship for different reasons. They may say they’re in love, but what kind of love is it? Time will tell.  

Jill said that if you find you’re compatible with someone, don’t let an age difference stop you from seeing where the relationship will go, unless, of course, one has power over the other.

She had other thoughts, too:

  • If you find yourself consistently attracted to someone older, but the relationship never works out, don’t be afraid to date someone who is younger or your age. Remember that you cannot expect different results, if you keep doing the same thing.
  • Stay open to seeing who people really are. Often, all is not what it seems.
  • Determine why you and your partner want to be in the relationship. Some just want to have fun, while others want a commitment. Make sure the two of you are on the same page.

Do you believe that age is just a number when it comes to relationships? Why or why not? Leave your answers in the comments section.

Episode 20: When You’re Blamed for Everything

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Hold Yourself Accountable

In this week’s episode, Tony admitted that he often blames Jill for things that aren’t her fault. By the end of the episode, he told listeners to try to change that habit, if they, too, often blame others for everything. He offered other advice:

  • Consider how blame affects your partner. Adjust accordingly.
  • Choose your words wisely with everyone, but especially when you feel the need to accuse your partner of something.
  • If you’re lucky, your partner may understand that you just don’t know how to properly ask a question.

During the episode, Jill conceded that she knows that Tony does not mean any harm when he accuses her of things she had nothing to do with; she’s learned to tolerate it. She has other tips as well:

  • Remember that words and tone both matter.
  • Train people to treat you the way you wanted to be treated.
  • Let your partners know your deal breakers early in your relationship.

What advice do you have? Leave your responses in the comments section.

Episode 19: Do Real Men Cry?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Allow Yourself to Be Moved

In this week’s episode, Jill encouraged listeners to be who they are. She told everyone that if they feel moved to cry, then there is no shame in doing so. Tony agreed, but added that everyone, especially men, need to be selective about where they are seen crying.

Tony had more thoughts on the topic for men:

  • There appears to be a double standard for men and women when it comes to crying, and that’s sad. Maybe one day it will be okay for men to cry whenever they feel the need to do so.
  • With that said, it is fine if a man cries at a funeral or if he cries because someone hurt him or his feelings.
  • If you find yourself crying all the time for no apparent reason, you might be depressed. Please seek professional help.

Jill has more to say as well:

  • Yes, crying can indeed be a sign of depression. Do not be ashamed to talk to a professional about it.
  • Remember that crying can also indicate that you are a human who can be moved.
  • If you feel the need to cry at work, excuse yourself and do it privately. Otherwise, that can work against you. Also if work brings you to a breaking point often, you may want to consider finding another job or career.

Do you believe it’s okay if men and women cry? What advice do you have to offer? Please leave your comments and response in the comments section.