In this episode, Tony and Jill actually agreed that age differences should not matter, as long as one isn’t in a position of power over the other. In fact, Tony urged listeners to not pursue their professor.
He had other thoughts as well on the topic:
An age difference in a relationship shouldn’t matter as long as the two of you are equally yoked and love each other.
If one person is 18, and the other is 45, this is probably a case where age matters. The 18-year-old brain is not developed enough to understand what they are truly getting into. This also applies to teacher and student relationships.
Older women with younger men can be a good thing if they’re both looking for the same thing. But older men with women that are 40 years younger may not be a good thing. In this case, each person is in the relationship for different reasons. They may say they’re in love, but what kind of love is it? Time will tell.
Jill said that if you find you’re compatible with someone, don’t let an age difference stop you from seeing where the relationship will go, unless, of course, one has power over the other.
She had other thoughts, too:
If you find yourself consistently attracted to someone older, but the relationship never works out, don’t be afraid to date someone who is younger or your age. Remember that you cannot expect different results, if you keep doing the same thing.
Stay open to seeing who people really are. Often, all is not what it seems.
Determine why you and your partner want to be in the relationship. Some just want to have fun, while others want a commitment. Make sure the two of you are on the same page.
Do you believe that age is just a number when it comes to relationships? Why or why not? Leave your answers in the comments section.
In this week’s episode, Tony admitted that he often blames Jill for things that aren’t her fault. By the end of the episode, he told listeners to try to change that habit, if they, too, often blame others for everything. He offered other advice:
Consider how blame affects your partner. Adjust accordingly.
Choose your words wisely with everyone, but especially when you feel the need to accuse your partner of something.
If you’re lucky, your partner may understand that you just don’t know how to properly ask a question.
During the episode, Jill conceded that she knows that Tony does not mean any harm when he accuses her of things she had nothing to do with; she’s learned to tolerate it. She has other tips as well:
Remember that words and tone both matter.
Train people to treat you the way you wanted to be treated.
Let your partners know your deal breakers early in your relationship.
What advice do you have? Leave your responses in the comments section.
In this week’s podcast, Tony and Jill kept using words that can be detrimental to a relationship like “mine” and “yours.” Jill said that you can still use those words and keep the peace as long as you also define what “ours” means to you and your partner.
Her other advice expands upon that idea:
Recognize and respect all three categories of mine, yours, and ours. Yes, you may be a couple, but you’re still individuals, too, possibly with different interests and goals.
Cheer each other on with genuine enthusiasm
Realize that a win for your partner is a win for you, too
In keeping with the swag theme, Tony said that if people want to be kind to you, respond with “thank you” and enjoy whatever they give you.
He has more suggestions along those lines:
Understand that it’s fine to accept swag or maybe even a gift, as long as the giver doesn’t want something inappropriate from you in return
Consider declining swag or a gift if it makes your partner uncomfortable
If you do accept swag or a gift, make sure you share it with your partner. That way, everybody is happy.
What is your opinion about accepting swag you didn’t earn? Who do you think won this podcast debate? Leave us your thoughts in the comments section.
In this podcast, Tony and Jill were more serious than usual because the dangers of riding a motorcycle were discussed.
If you listened to the end, however, you know that their relationship advice was on the comical side. For example, Tony said that while he believes in compromising, sometimes you just have to stand your ground. Jill, on the other hand, urged listeners to offer compromises to their partners, but said that if they don’t take it, then “Oh well.”
The two still have other tips to offer if you and your partner are trying to agree on something.
Here are Jill’s tips:
Listen, listen, listen
Don’t be afraid to state why you don’t agree, but say it with love.
Empathize with your partner. If you put yourself in the other’s shoes, you may view the situation differently.
Here are Tony’s tips:
At least try to compromise, if you are in a relationship
Try to understand your partner’s concern
Remember who you are. Do you feel like a piece of yourself would die if you gave up something you love doing? If so, that’s the time to stand your ground, but don’t let it destroy your relationship. Keep loving each other.
Have you tried any of these tips? What is your process for compromising? Leave your comments.
In this podcast, Tony and Jill had a first: Tony actually admitted that Jill was right! They both even gave the same advice to just stop saying or doing something that the other person in your relationship doesn’t like.
Both have other relationship advice. Here are Tony’s tips:
If you are married, do the type of things you did with your partner when you were dating. You might find that you enjoy it even more now, than when you were dating.
Keep your relationship fresh and fun.
Remember that what is most important is their happiness and yours.
Here are Jill’s suggestions:
Don’t be afraid to speak up if your partner is saying something that bothers you. You don’t have to yell or scream, but don’t let it fester.
Give the person a chance to explain what they meant by what they said. You may have misunderstood.
If it is a misunderstanding, laugh about it together later. It will make you both realize that not everything is a battle and how far you’ve grown as a couple together.
Do you agree with any of these tips? What do you do when your loved one says something you don’t like? Leave your comments.
In our podcast, Tony advised those of you who feel a need to talk to people to do it with positivity; do not insert negativity into it at all. Jill agreed with that, but suggested that the best way to do that is to stay out of other people’s business anyway.
That discussion led to the two coming up with more tips. Here are Tony’s:
Make sure you’re happy with yourself before you butt into another person’s life. If you give advice when you’re not happy with yourself, you will probably give them bad advice.
If you are indeed an instigator, accept that, but also understand that nothing good will ever happen if you instigate in a negative way.
Assess the situation and the people you approach. Sometimes it is best to just stay out of other people’s business.
Jill agreed with Tony’s last tip, of course. Here are her other tips:
Remember that everyone has a certain timeline and way they want to do things. Just because you wouldn’t do it how and when they would doesn’t mean their approach is wrong.
Spend more time determining how to improve yourself, not everyone else’s life. Chances are they didn’t ask for or need your help.
If they do ask for your input, give them your honest opinion without being harsh or critical of who they are.
So, do you have an instigator in your relationship? Is Tony an instigator? Please leave your comments.
In our podcast, Jill said to not call or make the other person in your relationship feel like a flunky. She does not believe anyone should be called that.
Instead, she has other tips for those who want to gain or maintain a healthy and happy relationship:
She mentioned it earlier in the podcast, but to reiterate, admit when the other person is right, even if that is true only a few times. The other person will still appreciate your acknowledging those rare occasions.
Recognize each of your strengths and weaknesses, then work to enhance or complement each other. Chances are you’ll become better together. Teamwork.
Respect each other’s roles and positions in the relationship. No one should feel inferior.
Tony told you to accept your partner’s words that you are not a flunky. He has some other good advice, too:
It is not always that important to prove that you’re right. Yes, we do it often enough, but we don’t take our disagreements that seriously.
Consider that you might be wrong…even though you believe you’re right.
Above all, remember that all of these small disagreements don’t matter in the big picture of life. Loving one another is more important than all else.
What tips do you have for those who are trying to determine which roles to embrace in their relationship? Let us know in the Comments section.