Episode 23: Who’s the Boss in Your Relationship?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

Split Roles Evenly

In this week’s episode, Tony told listeners that if they have a partner who thinks he/she/they are not bossy, then go ahead and let them believe it.

He also offered more tips:

  • Understand that every relationship is different. If one person is indeed the boss, and both people are fine with it, then all is well.
  • If both people are bossy, however, it doesn’t work because there cannot be two bosses in one household.
  • Both parties need to talk over all larger issues together. Strive to reach a wise discussion that is best for both of them.

Meanwhile, Jill told listeners that if one person needs the other to be the one in control, that’s fine, too. Know and understand each other’s needs.

She had other thoughts on the topic as well:

  • Understand that there are times to be the leader and times to be the follower. Many of the best relationships work because both parties understand that and assume and alternate their roles as needed.
  • Pay attention to how someone treats you before marriage. If you think that person is too bossy for you then, know that marriage does not fix that.
  • Remember that you can change someone’s bad behavior, but if you feel the need to change a person’s personality, you are with the wrong person.

Do you agree with these tips? Is there a clear boss in your relationship? Leave your answers in the comments section.

Episode 22: When Your Partner is More Likeable Than You

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Does Likeability Matter?

In this week’s episode, Tony advised listeners to be yourself. You can certainly strive for being liked, but you should remain authentic to who you really are.

So, does it matter if one partner is more likeable than the other?

Tony had the following to say on the topic:

  • No, it doesn’t matter. Just be happy that you are with someone that’s likeable
  • Look within yourself if your partner’s likeability bothers you. Perhaps the real issue is that there is something that you don’t like about yourself.
  • Be happy with yourself and your partner. This will go a long way in creating a loving and lasting relationship.

Jill agrees that it doesn’t matter who is more likeable. In fact, she urged listeners to move forward instead of trying to get people to like them.

She has more tips:

  • Accept that sometimes you will encounter people who will not like you, no matter what you say or do
  • Remind yourself from time to time about why you liked your mate in the first place
  • Do not change your personality for anybody.

Is your partner more likeable than you? Do you care? Have you ever tried any of these tips? Leave your answers in the comments section.

Episode 21: Do Age Gaps Matter?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Age: Just a number?

In this episode, Tony and Jill actually agreed that age differences should not matter, as long as one isn’t in a position of power over the other. In fact, Tony urged listeners to not pursue their professor.

He had other thoughts as well on the topic:

  • An age difference in a relationship shouldn’t matter as long as the two of you are equally yoked and love each other.
  • If one person is 18, and the other is 45, this is probably a case where age matters. The 18-year-old brain is not developed enough to understand what they are truly getting into. This also applies to teacher and student relationships.
  • Older women with younger men can be a good thing if they’re both looking for the same thing. But older men with women that are 40 years younger may not be a good thing. In this case, each person is in the relationship for different reasons. They may say they’re in love, but what kind of love is it? Time will tell.  

Jill said that if you find you’re compatible with someone, don’t let an age difference stop you from seeing where the relationship will go, unless, of course, one has power over the other.

She had other thoughts, too:

  • If you find yourself consistently attracted to someone older, but the relationship never works out, don’t be afraid to date someone who is younger or your age. Remember that you cannot expect different results, if you keep doing the same thing.
  • Stay open to seeing who people really are. Often, all is not what it seems.
  • Determine why you and your partner want to be in the relationship. Some just want to have fun, while others want a commitment. Make sure the two of you are on the same page.

Do you believe that age is just a number when it comes to relationships? Why or why not? Leave your answers in the comments section.

Episode 20: When You’re Blamed for Everything

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Hold Yourself Accountable

In this week’s episode, Tony admitted that he often blames Jill for things that aren’t her fault. By the end of the episode, he told listeners to try to change that habit, if they, too, often blame others for everything. He offered other advice:

  • Consider how blame affects your partner. Adjust accordingly.
  • Choose your words wisely with everyone, but especially when you feel the need to accuse your partner of something.
  • If you’re lucky, your partner may understand that you just don’t know how to properly ask a question.

During the episode, Jill conceded that she knows that Tony does not mean any harm when he accuses her of things she had nothing to do with; she’s learned to tolerate it. She has other tips as well:

  • Remember that words and tone both matter.
  • Train people to treat you the way you wanted to be treated.
  • Let your partners know your deal breakers early in your relationship.

What advice do you have? Leave your responses in the comments section.

Episode 19: Do Real Men Cry?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Allow Yourself to Be Moved

In this week’s episode, Jill encouraged listeners to be who they are. She told everyone that if they feel moved to cry, then there is no shame in doing so. Tony agreed, but added that everyone, especially men, need to be selective about where they are seen crying.

Tony had more thoughts on the topic for men:

  • There appears to be a double standard for men and women when it comes to crying, and that’s sad. Maybe one day it will be okay for men to cry whenever they feel the need to do so.
  • With that said, it is fine if a man cries at a funeral or if he cries because someone hurt him or his feelings.
  • If you find yourself crying all the time for no apparent reason, you might be depressed. Please seek professional help.

Jill has more to say as well:

  • Yes, crying can indeed be a sign of depression. Do not be ashamed to talk to a professional about it.
  • Remember that crying can also indicate that you are a human who can be moved.
  • If you feel the need to cry at work, excuse yourself and do it privately. Otherwise, that can work against you. Also if work brings you to a breaking point often, you may want to consider finding another job or career.

Do you believe it’s okay if men and women cry? What advice do you have to offer? Please leave your comments and response in the comments section.

Episode 18: Do People Think You’re Fake? Tips

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Be Who You Are

In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony actually agreed that you should be who you are, instead of being someone you’re not, a fake.

Tony had more to add:

  • If you find yourself fighting often with your partner, try talking to each other. Tell them what you love about them, but also voice your concerns. Consider talking to a relationship expert together. If all fails, be courageous and leave the relationship.
  • If you are a single person, look for someone who is your friend and your lover.
  • Do not settle for anyone. Take your time to find the right match for you.

Jill also has some advice:

  • Do not dwell on what others say about you or your relationships. This is your life, your business, not theirs.
  • In the words of Maya Angelou, “If someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
  • Remember that no one is perfect, including you. Recognize what you can tolerate in others, and what your deal breakers are. Give them a chance to do the same with your flaws.

Do you ever get accused of being fake? How have you handled that situation? Leave your comments. We’d love it if you subscribed, too.

Episode 17: Do you Have a Right to Complain if you Volunteered to do Something?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova https://jillcoxcordova.com/
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Do’s and Don’ts for Volunteers

During this week’s podcast, Jill advised listeners to only volunteer to do what they truly enjoy tackling. If the project turns out to be much more labor than expected, push through and maybe tell the person all that you did to complete the project at a later date.

Tony also urged listeners to keep volunteering if they like doing it. He said that if you find the need to complain, it’s okay to do it every now and then, but complain to yourself.

Here are more do’s and don’ts from Tony:

  • If you have never volunteered before, try it. You may find it rewarding.
  • Don’t take on too much. Be sure to always make time to do the things you enjoy doing for yourself.
  • Service with a smile is always best. Yes, that project may be more work than you anticipated, but complain to yourself, not them.

Jill also has more advice:

  • Don’t volunteer for the sake of volunteering. Do it because you truly want to help others.
  • Learn to say no without remorse. When people know your abilities, they may often ask you to utilize them for free. If you find yourself stretched too thin or are more aware of how much they are asking you to do than they realize, talk it out. Maybe even ask for help. If they still consider it a one-person job, just say “no.” They will always find someone else to do it.
  • If volunteering feels like more work than your actual job, then recognize that you are either doing too much or maybe you need to volunteer elsewhere.

Do you do volunteer work? How much is too much? Should you complain? Leave your responses in the comments section. Don’t forget to subscribe.

Episode 16: When Both of you are Creative

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Respect Each Other’s Creative Work

In this week’s episode, it took awhile, but Tony finally came around to Jill’s stance. He told the audience to listen to their partner, whereas Jill suggested that as well, but also advised listeners to follow it up with action.

Tony had more tips, of course:

  • Be open to compromise. Talk it out.
  • If you are unable to easily reach a compromise, consider giving in. A great relationship isn’t worth a small issue that escalates into a full-fledged argument.
  • If you find that you and partner argue a lot anyway, then you may need the help of a therapist. There’s no shame in seeking help when you need it.

Jill also has more advice:

  • Know the difference between hearing your partner and active listening. The latter often prevents arguments.
  • Don’t make everything a battle. If the topic is small to you, let your partner have his/her way.
  • Respect creativity. Often, it is an outlet to de-stress.

Are you and your partner both creative? How do you navigate? Leave your responses in the comments section. Please remember to subscribe.

Episode 10: What is the Proper Response When Your Partner is Upset With You?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Operator/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

When Laughter Leads to More Anger

In our podcast, Jill advised you to respect your partner’s emotions, especially when they are angry.

She also has more tips:

  • Express what you’re feeling with love. If you yell and scream to show your anger, your partner may not truly hear you.
  • Be open to your partner’s response, if he or she offers a reason for their actions that got you upset in the first place. Maybe it’s all a misunderstanding about intention.
  • Don’t make everything a battle. Ask yourself if the issue is something you can tolerate or is it really worth an argument.

During our podcast, Tony also finally–finally–admitted that laughter probably isn’t the best immediate response to your partner’s anger. In fact, he now realizes that laughing can make your partner get even more upset with you.

He has three more tips to avoid that:

  • Be empathetic and sympathetic when your partner is upset with you.
  • Give your partner time to see the humor in the situation. When that happens, laughter is a good thing.
  • Continue to love each other. Understand that anger often isn’t worth the negative energy that comes with it. 

Are you willing to try our advice? What has worked for you in the past? Post your answers in the comments section.

Episode 9: When Swag Becomes a Problem

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Mine Vs. Yours in Relationships

In this week’s podcast, Tony and Jill kept using words that can be detrimental to a relationship like “mine” and “yours.” Jill said that you can still use those words and keep the peace as long as you also define what “ours” means to you and your partner.

Her other advice expands upon that idea:

  • Recognize and respect all three categories of mine, yours, and ours. Yes, you may be a couple, but you’re still individuals, too, possibly with different interests and goals.
  • Cheer each other on with genuine enthusiasm
  • Realize that a win for your partner is a win for you, too

In keeping with the swag theme, Tony said that if people want to be kind to you, respond with “thank you” and enjoy whatever they give you.

He has more suggestions along those lines:

  • Understand that it’s fine to accept swag or maybe even a gift, as long as the giver doesn’t want something inappropriate from you in return
  • Consider declining swag or a gift if it makes your partner uncomfortable
  • If you do accept swag or a gift, make sure you share it with your partner. That way, everybody is happy.

What is your opinion about accepting swag you didn’t earn? Who do you think won this podcast debate? Leave us your thoughts in the comments section.