Episode 15: Are Vacations Overrated?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Operator/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Take Time to Unplug

In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony agreed! Their tips even echoed each other. For example, Tony urged listeners to take as many vacations as they can afford. “Unplug,” he said.

Jill added that if you or your partner are workaholics, then you definitely need to listen to the one who’s not and take time to relax your mind and body. “Your health needs it,” she said.

Tony offered more tips:

  • Do not take any work calls or respond to emails, while you are on vacation.
  • Consider going to state or national parks for an affordable destination.
  • Allow the less expensive vacation find you. There are often deals for those who wait to book at the last minute.

Jill has more advice for workaholics:

  • Consider that vacation time with your loved ones is a chance for you to bond and reconnect. You need this to maintain a healthy relationship.
  • If you fear losing your job while you’re gone on vacation, then accept that you need to find another place to work. That type of workplace culture is not healthy for you. Look for that new job once you return from vacation.
  • If you end up going on a staycation, make the most of it by doing something each day that makes you feel like you’re on vacation. In fact, it doesn’t hurt to do that each day, regardless of whether you are officially on vacation or not.

Have you tried any of these tips? How often do you go on vacation? Leave your answers in the comments section. Don’t forget to subscribe.

Episode 14: Please Just let me Watch my Show

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Operator/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Some other heading

During our podcast, Jill said that if you have different televisions in your home, then watch your favorite shows separately, if your partner hates what you watch.

She has other tips to make your TV viewing experience an enjoyable one:

  • If you don’t watch TV together, schedule time for just the two of you to connect. That way, you make up for that lost time.
  • Be open to watching your partner’s shows, even if you don’t like it. This shows your partner what to do when the roles are reversed.
  • Don’t criticize your partner’s favorite shows or activities. Accept that the two of you can have completely different tastes, but still be compatible in the categories that matter the most.

During our podcast, Tony

Episode 13: When No is Your Default Setting

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Operator/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Phase II: Change Bad Habits

During our podcast, Tony advised you to have a default setting of “no” because it’s a safe bet. Do, however, think about it and be open to changing your mind.

He had other tips, too:

  • If you say “no,” use the time it gives you to determine if you can indeed do or buy what your partner is proposing.
  • Be aware that if you always say “no,” your partner may end up resenting you for it.
  • Learn to be balanced with your responses. Saying “yes” all the time can be a problem, too.

During our podcast, Jill said that you should give thought to each question your partner poses, instead of having an automatic response like a reflex.

She also has more advice:

  • If your partner says “no” often, ask for the reasons why, but only if you are ready for the answer. Do not ask questions that you in which you really don’t want to know the answers.
  • Strive to compromise in situations in which you disagree. That way, neither of you resents the other.
  • Empower each other to make decisions on the little things without permission from the other.

Have you tried any of these tips? Which ones worked for you? Leave your answers in the comments section. Subscribe to our blog, so that you don’t miss anything.

Episode 12: When Your Partner Tunes you Out

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Are you Listening?

During our podcast, Tony advised you to listen to your partner. You may learn something important.

He has other tips, too:

  • Do not just think of yourself. Listen to your partner. He or she may say something that will help both of you grow.
  • Listen, even when it’s something you don’t want to hear. This will help you understand who your partner really is. You might learn something about yourself, too.
  • If you find that you and your partner can never find the time to talk to each other, that could be a sign of a bigger problem. It might be time to seek professional help.

During the podcast, Jill also suggested that you try to focus or have scheduled time to talk and really hear each other.

She has other advice as well:

  • Repeat back what you think your partner said to you. This allows both of you the chance to see and get on the same page.
  • Consider having dates in which you just sit, talk, and enjoy each other’s company.
  • Listen. There’s a difference between hearing somebody and listening. Listen.

What do you do to make sure you hear your partner? Answer in the comments section. Subscribe to our blog, so that you don’t miss anything.

Episode 11: Signs That Your Partner Knows you Better Than you Know Yourself

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Operator/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Embrace Your Partner’s Encouragement

During our podcast, Tony advised you to cherish when your partner says she/better knows than you know yourself because they are often just trying to encourage you.

Per usual, he has other tips for you:

  • Try to remember that your partner might be able to see something in you, that you can’t see. It could be something positive, or it might be something negative. Try not to become angry, if they have something negative to point out about you.
  • If you have to let your partner know about something that they say or do that is negative, be sure to point out something positive about them first. It will go a long way in ensuring that you have a happy and loving relationship.
  • Be sure you tell your partner the things you love about them, as often as possible. Both women and men love to hear that they are loved and appreciated.  

Meanwhile, during the podcast, Jill said you should try to see your partner’s talents and then support those abilities. Uplift each other because you’re better together.

She also has more advice:

  • Just as you should strive to see each other, also know, as Maya Angelou once said, that when a person shows who he/she really is, believe him/her.
  • Be willing to help your partner and also be helped.
  • Express gratitude daily that you are glad your partner is in your life.

What suggestions do you have to add? Leave your answers in the comments section. Subscribe to our blog, so that you don’t miss any.

Episode 10: What is the Proper Response When Your Partner is Upset With You?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Operator/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

When Laughter Leads to More Anger

In our podcast, Jill advised you to respect your partner’s emotions, especially when they are angry.

She also has more tips:

  • Express what you’re feeling with love. If you yell and scream to show your anger, your partner may not truly hear you.
  • Be open to your partner’s response, if he or she offers a reason for their actions that got you upset in the first place. Maybe it’s all a misunderstanding about intention.
  • Don’t make everything a battle. Ask yourself if the issue is something you can tolerate or is it really worth an argument.

During our podcast, Tony also finally–finally–admitted that laughter probably isn’t the best immediate response to your partner’s anger. In fact, he now realizes that laughing can make your partner get even more upset with you.

He has three more tips to avoid that:

  • Be empathetic and sympathetic when your partner is upset with you.
  • Give your partner time to see the humor in the situation. When that happens, laughter is a good thing.
  • Continue to love each other. Understand that anger often isn’t worth the negative energy that comes with it. 

Are you willing to try our advice? What has worked for you in the past? Post your answers in the comments section.

Episode 9: When Swag Becomes a Problem

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Mine Vs. Yours in Relationships

In this week’s podcast, Tony and Jill kept using words that can be detrimental to a relationship like “mine” and “yours.” Jill said that you can still use those words and keep the peace as long as you also define what “ours” means to you and your partner.

Her other advice expands upon that idea:

  • Recognize and respect all three categories of mine, yours, and ours. Yes, you may be a couple, but you’re still individuals, too, possibly with different interests and goals.
  • Cheer each other on with genuine enthusiasm
  • Realize that a win for your partner is a win for you, too

In keeping with the swag theme, Tony said that if people want to be kind to you, respond with “thank you” and enjoy whatever they give you.

He has more suggestions along those lines:

  • Understand that it’s fine to accept swag or maybe even a gift, as long as the giver doesn’t want something inappropriate from you in return
  • Consider declining swag or a gift if it makes your partner uncomfortable
  • If you do accept swag or a gift, make sure you share it with your partner. That way, everybody is happy.

What is your opinion about accepting swag you didn’t earn? Who do you think won this podcast debate? Leave us your thoughts in the comments section.

Episode 8: Wants vs. Needs, The Relationship Edition

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

The Art of Compromising

In this podcast, Tony and Jill were more serious than usual because the dangers of riding a motorcycle were discussed.

If you listened to the end, however, you know that their relationship advice was on the comical side. For example, Tony said that while he believes in compromising, sometimes you just have to stand your ground. Jill, on the other hand, urged listeners to offer compromises to their partners, but said that if they don’t take it, then “Oh well.”

The two still have other tips to offer if you and your partner are trying to agree on something.

Here are Jill’s tips:

  • Listen, listen, listen
  • Don’t be afraid to state why you don’t agree, but say it with love.
  • Empathize with your partner. If you put yourself in the other’s shoes, you may view the situation differently.

Here are Tony’s tips:

  • At least try to compromise, if you are in a relationship
  • Try to understand your partner’s concern
  • Remember who you are. Do you feel like a piece of yourself would die if you gave up something you love doing? If so, that’s the time to stand your ground, but don’t let it destroy your relationship. Keep loving each other.

Have you tried any of these tips? What is your process for compromising? Leave your comments.

Episode 7: When to Leave Your Partner’s Things Alone


Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
 

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In All Seriousness

Respect the Other’s Things

In this podcast, Tony and Jill agreed on their relationship advice: Respect the other’s stuff and boundaries. Don’t just automatically throw things away.

Whew! Now that we got that straight, let’s review Jill’s advice on how to gain or maintain a healthy relationship:

  • Keep your identity. Often when people get into relationships, they stop being who they are. Don’t do that. It’s fine, of course, to act as one and do things as a couple , but if you don’t have all the same interests, that’s acceptable, too.
  • Allow yourself some space from each other every now and then. For example, Tony has the basement to go to without Jill following him there. As you heard in the podcast, Jill’s working on getting her own creative space, too.
  • Make it a priority each day to spend time together in the same room. That’s what we do each evening before bedtime.

Tony has some suggestions as well:

  • Remember that you and your partner are both individuals. Respect them, their space, and their belongings.
  • Do not get angry just because they placed their things some place that you wouldn’t. Instead, calmly talk about it. You’ll likely compromise, which means a win-win situation.
  • If it looks like your partner is becoming a hoarder, seek professional help.

Does your partner have a problem with respecting boundaries and/or your things? What do you do about it? Leave us your comments.

Episode 6: You Might be Bougie

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Be Yourself

In this podcast, Tony advised you to be yourself and not pay attention to others’ perception of you; Jill expanded upon that tip by urging you to resist labels.

Those tips led to more advice. Here is what Jill offered:

  • Don’t be afraid to show who you really are from the beginning. If you’re dating someone and they don’t like the real you, move on. Be with a person who appreciates you for you.
  • If your loved one shows behavior you truly cannot tolerate, don’t think that marrying him or her will change that. It may get worse after that.
  • Trust your instincts about people. It’s usually right.

Tony has more advice to give, too:

  • Remember that if you are being your true self, it doesn’t matter in the big picture.
  • Show people who you are, not who or what you think they want to see.
  • Do your best to be kind and loving to everyone you know and meet.

Which relationship advice is your favorite? Leave your comments.

Episode 5: Is the Title of Husband or Wife Enough?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Just Don’t Do That

In this podcast, Tony and Jill had a first: Tony actually admitted that Jill was right! They both even gave the same advice to just stop saying or doing something that the other person in your relationship doesn’t like.

Both have other relationship advice. Here are Tony’s tips:

  • If you are married, do the type of things you did with your partner when you were dating. You might find that you enjoy it even more now, than when you were dating.
  • Keep your relationship fresh and fun.
  • Remember that what is most important is their happiness and yours.  

Here are Jill’s suggestions:

  • Don’t be afraid to speak up if your partner is saying something that bothers you. You don’t have to yell or scream, but don’t let it fester.
  • Give the person a chance to explain what they meant by what they said. You may have misunderstood.
  • If it is a misunderstanding, laugh about it together later. It will make you both realize that not everything is a battle and how far you’ve grown as a couple together.

Do you agree with any of these tips? What do you do when your loved one says something you don’t like? Leave your comments.

Episode 4: Is There an Instigator in Your Relationship?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Spread Positivity

In our podcast, Tony advised those of you who feel a need to talk to people to do it with positivity; do not insert negativity into it at all. Jill agreed with that, but suggested that the best way to do that is to stay out of other people’s business anyway.

That discussion led to the two coming up with more tips. Here are Tony’s:

  • Make sure you’re happy with yourself before you butt into another person’s life. If you give advice when you’re not happy with yourself, you will probably give them bad advice.
  • If you are indeed an instigator, accept that, but also understand that nothing good will ever happen if you instigate in a negative way.
  • Assess the situation and the people you approach. Sometimes it is best to just stay out of other people’s business.

Jill agreed with Tony’s last tip, of course. Here are her other tips:

  • Remember that everyone has a certain timeline and way they want to do things. Just because you wouldn’t do it how and when they would doesn’t mean their approach is wrong.
  • Spend more time determining how to improve yourself, not everyone else’s life. Chances are they didn’t ask for or need your help.
  • If they do ask for your input, give them your honest opinion without being harsh or critical of who they are.

So, do you have an instigator in your relationship? Is Tony an instigator? Please leave your comments.

Episode 3: Is There a Flunky in Your Life?


Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
 

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In All Seriousness

Don’t be so Serious in a Serious Relationship

In our podcast, Jill said to not call or make the other person in your relationship feel like a flunky. She does not believe anyone should be called that.

Instead, she has other tips for those who want to gain or maintain a healthy and happy relationship:

  • She mentioned it earlier in the podcast, but to reiterate, admit when the other person is right, even if that is true only a few times. The other person will still appreciate your acknowledging those rare occasions.
  • Recognize each of your strengths and weaknesses, then work to enhance or complement each other. Chances are you’ll become better together. Teamwork.
  • Respect each other’s roles and positions in the relationship. No one should feel inferior.

Tony told you to accept your partner’s words that you are not a flunky. He has some other good advice, too:

  • It is not always that important to prove that you’re right. Yes, we do it often enough, but we don’t take our disagreements that seriously.
  • Consider that you might be wrong…even though you believe you’re right.
  • Above all, remember that all of these small disagreements don’t matter in the big picture of life. Loving one another is more important than all else.

What tips do you have for those who are trying to determine which roles to embrace in their relationship? Let us know in the Comments section.

Episode 2: What Makes a Person a Writer?

Episode 2- What Makes a Person a Writer?
Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Love and Decisions

In this week’s podcast, Jill advised listeners, especially those in a new relationship, to avoid changing a person. She said that if you feel the need to do that, then that person probably isn’t the right one for you.

To elaborate on that thought, she has more tips:

  • As Maya Angelou said, “If someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” If that is someone you do not like or cannot tolerate, move forward in your life without that person in it.
  • Speaking of tolerating people, remember that no one is perfect. Assess if you can tolerate the things they do that drive you crazy or whether it is truly a deal breaker.
  • Understand that you cannot–or should not–try to change a person’s personality. Trying to get them to change bad habits, however, is an acceptable practice.

In our podcast, Tony talked about the importance of listening, not letting your ego get in the way of hearing.

To expand upon that, he has more advice:

  • When you are truly listening, you can work together. Do that on all things that you can.
  • Find someone that you believe is a little better–whatever way you define that–than you. You can only become stronger and better together.
  • It is essential that you are actually in love with the person you’re with and that they are your best friend. Just loving a person isn’t enough. It’s hard to have a happy, long-lasting, loving relationship if you’re not truly in love. Apply the golden rule: love and respect your mate the way you want to be loved and respected.

What advice do you have for maintaining a relationship? Tell us in the comments section.

Episode 1: When is a Date a Date?

Episode 1- When Is a Date a Date?
Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Dating Do’s and a Don’t

Yes, we like to joke a lot about relationships, but we can also be serious enough to offer real advice.

In our podcast, Tony suggested that you bend your knees when you kiss a woman that’s 4’11. He has some great tips, however, if you’re just starting to date–whatever way you define that–someone:

  • Pay attention to the person you’re pursuing, for example.
  • Listen to what he/she says, and what he/she doesn’t say.
  • Look into the person’s eyes as he/she talks. If you’re really paying attention, you’ll learn a lot.

Jill also has some tips:

  • Don’t focus on what the person does for a living; be open to learning who the person really is by asking questions.
  • Know not only what your deal breakers are, but also what you can tolerate. No one is perfect enough to match everything on your list of criteria (everyone has one, whether they admit it or not).
  • Look for someone who can make you laugh. That comes in handy on your bad days.

What relationship advice do you have to share? Post your comments.