Episode 28: The Green Acres Edition


Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
Follow Us on Facebook

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Compromising Differences

In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony compromised on Tony’s idea to spend time in the country for an entire month.

Tony suggested that you keep an open mind if you have a partner who encourages you to try new things. You may even enjoy yourself.

He also has other advice:

  • Avoid getting stuck in a rut doing the same things. Try to do something you didn’t think you would like.
  • Embrace finding the many ways to add joy to your life.
  • Understand that your partner may be able to see what will make you happy before you do.

During the episode, Jill suggested that you try things at least once, but with the understanding that it’s okay if you don’t enjoy it enough to ever do it again.

She has other tips:

  • Stay true to who you are. Your trying something your partner likes doesn’t mean you have to stop doing what you enjoy.
  • Retain your identity. Sometimes it’s easy to get lost in your identity as a couple. Remember that you are individuals, too.
  • Don’t be afraid to compromise. When done right, both partners win.

Has your partner pushed you to do something you didn’t really want to do? How did you resolve that situation? Leave your answers in the comments section. Also tell us what topics you’d like to see us cover. Don’t forget to subscribe.

Episode 27: Do You Take Enough Risks?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
Follow us on Facebook

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Live Your Life

In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony agreed that in order to grow, we all must do things outside of our comfort zones.

Jill has additional advice:

  • If you find yourself reluctant to try new things, truly weigh the pros against the cons.
  • Try at least one new thing a month.
  • If you’re in a relationship, chances are that you have separate interests. If you try something your partner enjoys, it can open up many possibilities for you and increase the bond the two of you have.

Tony has some suggestions, too.

  • It’s a great idea to take risks while in a relationship, especially if you take risks together.
  • There are all types of risk, of course. Take ones that move you out of your comfort zone.
  • Some risks can be dangerous, like skydiving, or scrubber driving, or maybe riding a motorcycle at 130 mph. Those may make you feel alive. Whatever risks you decide to take, try to do it with your partner before the end of the year.

What risks have you taken lately? What do you do to get yourself out of your comfort zone? Leave your answers in the comments section. Don’t forget to subscribe and listen to previous episodes, if you aren’t caught up on listening to our podcast.

Thanks for your support.

Episode 26: Mr. Jill: An Insult or a Joke?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
Follow us on Facebook

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

What’s in a Name?

In this week’s episode, Jill said to avoid dwelling on labels or titles that others give you.

Instead, she suggests doing the following:

  • Understand that you will encounter people who will call you something besides your name. Determine why they did it. Chances are they are just joking. If they aren’t, tell them how you feel.
  • Realize that some people just want to give you nicknames. Feel free to return the favor.
  • Know who you are, so that you can tell and show others when you need to do so.

In this week’s episode, Tony told listeners to not tell their partner if they were called a name that would make the other one seem demanding or bossy.

He has other tips, too:

  • Titles can mean a lot to some people while in a relationship, so if someone gives you a nickname that makes them and you smile, accept it. It’s all in fun.
  • Be able to laugh at yourself and to laugh with others about yourself. Try not to take everything so seriously.
  • Life is too special and short to worry about little things. Try loving one another.     

Have you experienced the same situation that Tony and Jill described. If so, what did you do about it? Leave your answers in the comments section. Don’t forget to subscribe and catch up on listening to our podcast.

Episode 25: How to Know You’re With the Right Person

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
Follow us on Facebook

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

No One is Perfect, but who is Perfect for You?

In this episode, there was no real debate. Instead, we discussed what we needed and wanted in a partner when we met. We also offered advice for you because you know, that’s what we do.

Tony told listeners to not rush into a relationship.

He also has the following suggestions:

  • Make sure that you are happy with yourself first. Another person will never be able to keep you happy, unless you are already happy.
  • Take your time. Make sure that you have many things in common, and that you have a physical and love attraction for each other. The right person for you should also be your best friend.
  • Be yourself. If you can’t be your true self around the person that you think is the right person you, this is a clear sign that you’re not with the right person. They are not your soul mate.

Jill also told listeners to not change who they are to attract someone.

She also has other tips:

  • Be honest with yourself about the things you can tolerate for the rest of your life.
  • Do not make everything a deal breaker.
  • Recognize that no one, including you, is perfect.

Who is your ideal partner? If you’re in a relationship, how did you know they’re the one? What topics would you like to hear us debate? Leave your responses in the comments section. Don’t forget to subscribe, if you haven’t already.

Episode 24: Are Your Friends Causing Problems in Your Relationship?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
Follow Us on Instagram

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Awkward Friend Zones

In this week’s podcast, Tony and Jill agreed that you should be able to have a relationship with a person who is of the sex that you’re attracted to. Of course, sometimes issues arise if someone feels that their relationship is threatened.

Jill advised listeners to communicate with each other if one felt uncomfortable with a friendship the other one has.

She has other tips:

  • Be aware of who your friends really are.
  • Listen to and respect your partner’s concern if he or she has a problem with your friend. You may be too close to the situation to truly see what is happening.
  • Don’t be afraid to drop a friend if you find that he or she is toxic to you or your relationship.

Tony advised people to stay aware of people who may have ulterior motives.

He has more thoughts on the topic:

  • It can be easier to have this kind of friendship if you grew up with the person in question, and you never developed any romantic feelings for each other.
  • If you develop a friendship with a person that you met at your job, be honest with your partner about it. Otherwise, this scenario often ends badly for both people.
  • Be honest with your partner and your friend from the start.

Have you tried any of these tips? What worked for you? Leave your answers in the comments section.

Episode 23: Who’s the Boss in Your Relationship?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
Follow us on Facebook
Follow us on Instagram

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Split Roles Evenly

In this week’s episode, Tony told listeners that if they have a partner who thinks he/she/they are not bossy, then go ahead and let them believe it.

He also offered more tips:

  • Understand that every relationship is different. If one person is indeed the boss, and both people are fine with it, then all is well.
  • If both people are bossy, however, it doesn’t work because there cannot be two bosses in one household.
  • Both parties need to talk over all larger issues together. Strive to reach a wise discussion that is best for both of them.

Meanwhile, Jill told listeners that if one person needs the other to be the one in control, that’s fine, too. Know and understand each other’s needs.

She had other thoughts on the topic as well:

  • Understand that there are times to be the leader and times to be the follower. Many of the best relationships work because both parties understand that and assume and alternate their roles as needed.
  • Pay attention to how someone treats you before marriage. If you think that person is too bossy for you then, know that marriage does not fix that.
  • Remember that you can change someone’s bad behavior, but if you feel the need to change a person’s personality, you are with the wrong person.

Do you agree with these tips? Is there a clear boss in your relationship? Leave your answers in the comments section.

Episode 22: When Your Partner is More Likeable Than You

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Does Likeability Matter?

In this week’s episode, Tony advised listeners to be yourself. You can certainly strive for being liked, but you should remain authentic to who you really are.

So, does it matter if one partner is more likeable than the other?

Tony had the following to say on the topic:

  • No, it doesn’t matter. Just be happy that you are with someone that’s likeable
  • Look within yourself if your partner’s likeability bothers you. Perhaps the real issue is that there is something that you don’t like about yourself.
  • Be happy with yourself and your partner. This will go a long way in creating a loving and lasting relationship.

Jill agrees that it doesn’t matter who is more likeable. In fact, she urged listeners to move forward instead of trying to get people to like them.

She has more tips:

  • Accept that sometimes you will encounter people who will not like you, no matter what you say or do
  • Remind yourself from time to time about why you liked your mate in the first place
  • Do not change your personality for anybody.

Is your partner more likeable than you? Do you care? Have you ever tried any of these tips? Leave your answers in the comments section.

Episode 21: Do Age Gaps Matter?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Age: Just a number?

In this episode, Tony and Jill actually agreed that age differences should not matter, as long as one isn’t in a position of power over the other. In fact, Tony urged listeners to not pursue their professor.

He had other thoughts as well on the topic:

  • An age difference in a relationship shouldn’t matter as long as the two of you are equally yoked and love each other.
  • If one person is 18, and the other is 45, this is probably a case where age matters. The 18-year-old brain is not developed enough to understand what they are truly getting into. This also applies to teacher and student relationships.
  • Older women with younger men can be a good thing if they’re both looking for the same thing. But older men with women that are 40 years younger may not be a good thing. In this case, each person is in the relationship for different reasons. They may say they’re in love, but what kind of love is it? Time will tell.  

Jill said that if you find you’re compatible with someone, don’t let an age difference stop you from seeing where the relationship will go, unless, of course, one has power over the other.

She had other thoughts, too:

  • If you find yourself consistently attracted to someone older, but the relationship never works out, don’t be afraid to date someone who is younger or your age. Remember that you cannot expect different results, if you keep doing the same thing.
  • Stay open to seeing who people really are. Often, all is not what it seems.
  • Determine why you and your partner want to be in the relationship. Some just want to have fun, while others want a commitment. Make sure the two of you are on the same page.

Do you believe that age is just a number when it comes to relationships? Why or why not? Leave your answers in the comments section.

Episode 20: When You’re Blamed for Everything

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Hold Yourself Accountable

In this week’s episode, Tony admitted that he often blames Jill for things that aren’t her fault. By the end of the episode, he told listeners to try to change that habit, if they, too, often blame others for everything. He offered other advice:

  • Consider how blame affects your partner. Adjust accordingly.
  • Choose your words wisely with everyone, but especially when you feel the need to accuse your partner of something.
  • If you’re lucky, your partner may understand that you just don’t know how to properly ask a question.

During the episode, Jill conceded that she knows that Tony does not mean any harm when he accuses her of things she had nothing to do with; she’s learned to tolerate it. She has other tips as well:

  • Remember that words and tone both matter.
  • Train people to treat you the way you wanted to be treated.
  • Let your partners know your deal breakers early in your relationship.

What advice do you have? Leave your responses in the comments section.

Episode 19: Do Real Men Cry?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Allow Yourself to Be Moved

In this week’s episode, Jill encouraged listeners to be who they are. She told everyone that if they feel moved to cry, then there is no shame in doing so. Tony agreed, but added that everyone, especially men, need to be selective about where they are seen crying.

Tony had more thoughts on the topic for men:

  • There appears to be a double standard for men and women when it comes to crying, and that’s sad. Maybe one day it will be okay for men to cry whenever they feel the need to do so.
  • With that said, it is fine if a man cries at a funeral or if he cries because someone hurt him or his feelings.
  • If you find yourself crying all the time for no apparent reason, you might be depressed. Please seek professional help.

Jill has more to say as well:

  • Yes, crying can indeed be a sign of depression. Do not be ashamed to talk to a professional about it.
  • Remember that crying can also indicate that you are a human who can be moved.
  • If you feel the need to cry at work, excuse yourself and do it privately. Otherwise, that can work against you. Also if work brings you to a breaking point often, you may want to consider finding another job or career.

Do you believe it’s okay if men and women cry? What advice do you have to offer? Please leave your comments and response in the comments section.

Episode 18: Do People Think You’re Fake? Tips

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Be Who You Are

In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony actually agreed that you should be who you are, instead of being someone you’re not, a fake.

Tony had more to add:

  • If you find yourself fighting often with your partner, try talking to each other. Tell them what you love about them, but also voice your concerns. Consider talking to a relationship expert together. If all fails, be courageous and leave the relationship.
  • If you are a single person, look for someone who is your friend and your lover.
  • Do not settle for anyone. Take your time to find the right match for you.

Jill also has some advice:

  • Do not dwell on what others say about you or your relationships. This is your life, your business, not theirs.
  • In the words of Maya Angelou, “If someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
  • Remember that no one is perfect, including you. Recognize what you can tolerate in others, and what your deal breakers are. Give them a chance to do the same with your flaws.

Do you ever get accused of being fake? How have you handled that situation? Leave your comments. We’d love it if you subscribed, too.

Episode 17: Do you Have a Right to Complain if you Volunteered to do Something?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova https://jillcoxcordova.com/
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Do’s and Don’ts for Volunteers

During this week’s podcast, Jill advised listeners to only volunteer to do what they truly enjoy tackling. If the project turns out to be much more labor than expected, push through and maybe tell the person all that you did to complete the project at a later date.

Tony also urged listeners to keep volunteering if they like doing it. He said that if you find the need to complain, it’s okay to do it every now and then, but complain to yourself.

Here are more do’s and don’ts from Tony:

  • If you have never volunteered before, try it. You may find it rewarding.
  • Don’t take on too much. Be sure to always make time to do the things you enjoy doing for yourself.
  • Service with a smile is always best. Yes, that project may be more work than you anticipated, but complain to yourself, not them.

Jill also has more advice:

  • Don’t volunteer for the sake of volunteering. Do it because you truly want to help others.
  • Learn to say no without remorse. When people know your abilities, they may often ask you to utilize them for free. If you find yourself stretched too thin or are more aware of how much they are asking you to do than they realize, talk it out. Maybe even ask for help. If they still consider it a one-person job, just say “no.” They will always find someone else to do it.
  • If volunteering feels like more work than your actual job, then recognize that you are either doing too much or maybe you need to volunteer elsewhere.

Do you do volunteer work? How much is too much? Should you complain? Leave your responses in the comments section. Don’t forget to subscribe.

Episode 16: When Both of you are Creative

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Respect Each Other’s Creative Work

In this week’s episode, it took awhile, but Tony finally came around to Jill’s stance. He told the audience to listen to their partner, whereas Jill suggested that as well, but also advised listeners to follow it up with action.

Tony had more tips, of course:

  • Be open to compromise. Talk it out.
  • If you are unable to easily reach a compromise, consider giving in. A great relationship isn’t worth a small issue that escalates into a full-fledged argument.
  • If you find that you and partner argue a lot anyway, then you may need the help of a therapist. There’s no shame in seeking help when you need it.

Jill also has more advice:

  • Know the difference between hearing your partner and active listening. The latter often prevents arguments.
  • Don’t make everything a battle. If the topic is small to you, let your partner have his/her way.
  • Respect creativity. Often, it is an outlet to de-stress.

Are you and your partner both creative? How do you navigate? Leave your responses in the comments section. Please remember to subscribe.

Episode 15: Are Vacations Overrated?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Operator/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Take Time to Unplug

In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony agreed! Their tips even echoed each other. For example, Tony urged listeners to take as many vacations as they can afford. “Unplug,” he said.

Jill added that if you or your partner are workaholics, then you definitely need to listen to the one who’s not and take time to relax your mind and body. “Your health needs it,” she said.

Tony offered more tips:

  • Do not take any work calls or respond to emails, while you are on vacation.
  • Consider going to state or national parks for an affordable destination.
  • Allow the less expensive vacation find you. There are often deals for those who wait to book at the last minute.

Jill has more advice for workaholics:

  • Consider that vacation time with your loved ones is a chance for you to bond and reconnect. You need this to maintain a healthy relationship.
  • If you fear losing your job while you’re gone on vacation, then accept that you need to find another place to work. That type of workplace culture is not healthy for you. Look for that new job once you return from vacation.
  • If you end up going on a staycation, make the most of it by doing something each day that makes you feel like you’re on vacation. In fact, it doesn’t hurt to do that each day, regardless of whether you are officially on vacation or not.

Have you tried any of these tips? How often do you go on vacation? Leave your answers in the comments section. Don’t forget to subscribe.

Episode 14: Please Just let me Watch my Show

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Operator/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Some other heading

During our podcast, Jill said that if you have different televisions in your home, then watch your favorite shows separately, if your partner hates what you watch.

She has other tips to make your TV viewing experience an enjoyable one:

  • If you don’t watch TV together, schedule time for just the two of you to connect. That way, you make up for that lost time.
  • Be open to watching your partner’s shows, even if you don’t like it. This shows your partner what to do when the roles are reversed.
  • Don’t criticize your partner’s favorite shows or activities. Accept that the two of you can have completely different tastes, but still be compatible in the categories that matter the most.

During our podcast, Tony

Episode 13: When No is Your Default Setting

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Operator/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Phase II: Change Bad Habits

During our podcast, Tony advised you to have a default setting of “no” because it’s a safe bet. Do, however, think about it and be open to changing your mind.

He had other tips, too:

  • If you say “no,” use the time it gives you to determine if you can indeed do or buy what your partner is proposing.
  • Be aware that if you always say “no,” your partner may end up resenting you for it.
  • Learn to be balanced with your responses. Saying “yes” all the time can be a problem, too.

During our podcast, Jill said that you should give thought to each question your partner poses, instead of having an automatic response like a reflex.

She also has more advice:

  • If your partner says “no” often, ask for the reasons why, but only if you are ready for the answer. Do not ask questions that you in which you really don’t want to know the answers.
  • Strive to compromise in situations in which you disagree. That way, neither of you resents the other.
  • Empower each other to make decisions on the little things without permission from the other.

Have you tried any of these tips? Which ones worked for you? Leave your answers in the comments section. Subscribe to our blog, so that you don’t miss anything.

Episode 12: When Your Partner Tunes you Out

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Are you Listening?

During our podcast, Tony advised you to listen to your partner. You may learn something important.

He has other tips, too:

  • Do not just think of yourself. Listen to your partner. He or she may say something that will help both of you grow.
  • Listen, even when it’s something you don’t want to hear. This will help you understand who your partner really is. You might learn something about yourself, too.
  • If you find that you and your partner can never find the time to talk to each other, that could be a sign of a bigger problem. It might be time to seek professional help.

During the podcast, Jill also suggested that you try to focus or have scheduled time to talk and really hear each other.

She has other advice as well:

  • Repeat back what you think your partner said to you. This allows both of you the chance to see and get on the same page.
  • Consider having dates in which you just sit, talk, and enjoy each other’s company.
  • Listen. There’s a difference between hearing somebody and listening. Listen.

What do you do to make sure you hear your partner? Answer in the comments section. Subscribe to our blog, so that you don’t miss anything.

Episode 11: Signs That Your Partner Knows you Better Than you Know Yourself

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Operator/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Embrace Your Partner’s Encouragement

During our podcast, Tony advised you to cherish when your partner says she/better knows than you know yourself because they are often just trying to encourage you.

Per usual, he has other tips for you:

  • Try to remember that your partner might be able to see something in you, that you can’t see. It could be something positive, or it might be something negative. Try not to become angry, if they have something negative to point out about you.
  • If you have to let your partner know about something that they say or do that is negative, be sure to point out something positive about them first. It will go a long way in ensuring that you have a happy and loving relationship.
  • Be sure you tell your partner the things you love about them, as often as possible. Both women and men love to hear that they are loved and appreciated.  

Meanwhile, during the podcast, Jill said you should try to see your partner’s talents and then support those abilities. Uplift each other because you’re better together.

She also has more advice:

  • Just as you should strive to see each other, also know, as Maya Angelou once said, that when a person shows who he/she really is, believe him/her.
  • Be willing to help your partner and also be helped.
  • Express gratitude daily that you are glad your partner is in your life.

What suggestions do you have to add? Leave your answers in the comments section. Subscribe to our blog, so that you don’t miss any.

Episode 10: What is the Proper Response When Your Partner is Upset With You?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Operator/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

When Laughter Leads to More Anger

In our podcast, Jill advised you to respect your partner’s emotions, especially when they are angry.

She also has more tips:

  • Express what you’re feeling with love. If you yell and scream to show your anger, your partner may not truly hear you.
  • Be open to your partner’s response, if he or she offers a reason for their actions that got you upset in the first place. Maybe it’s all a misunderstanding about intention.
  • Don’t make everything a battle. Ask yourself if the issue is something you can tolerate or is it really worth an argument.

During our podcast, Tony also finally–finally–admitted that laughter probably isn’t the best immediate response to your partner’s anger. In fact, he now realizes that laughing can make your partner get even more upset with you.

He has three more tips to avoid that:

  • Be empathetic and sympathetic when your partner is upset with you.
  • Give your partner time to see the humor in the situation. When that happens, laughter is a good thing.
  • Continue to love each other. Understand that anger often isn’t worth the negative energy that comes with it. 

Are you willing to try our advice? What has worked for you in the past? Post your answers in the comments section.

Episode 9: When Swag Becomes a Problem

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Mine Vs. Yours in Relationships

In this week’s podcast, Tony and Jill kept using words that can be detrimental to a relationship like “mine” and “yours.” Jill said that you can still use those words and keep the peace as long as you also define what “ours” means to you and your partner.

Her other advice expands upon that idea:

  • Recognize and respect all three categories of mine, yours, and ours. Yes, you may be a couple, but you’re still individuals, too, possibly with different interests and goals.
  • Cheer each other on with genuine enthusiasm
  • Realize that a win for your partner is a win for you, too

In keeping with the swag theme, Tony said that if people want to be kind to you, respond with “thank you” and enjoy whatever they give you.

He has more suggestions along those lines:

  • Understand that it’s fine to accept swag or maybe even a gift, as long as the giver doesn’t want something inappropriate from you in return
  • Consider declining swag or a gift if it makes your partner uncomfortable
  • If you do accept swag or a gift, make sure you share it with your partner. That way, everybody is happy.

What is your opinion about accepting swag you didn’t earn? Who do you think won this podcast debate? Leave us your thoughts in the comments section.

Episode 8: Wants vs. Needs, The Relationship Edition

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

The Art of Compromising

In this podcast, Tony and Jill were more serious than usual because the dangers of riding a motorcycle were discussed.

If you listened to the end, however, you know that their relationship advice was on the comical side. For example, Tony said that while he believes in compromising, sometimes you just have to stand your ground. Jill, on the other hand, urged listeners to offer compromises to their partners, but said that if they don’t take it, then “Oh well.”

The two still have other tips to offer if you and your partner are trying to agree on something.

Here are Jill’s tips:

  • Listen, listen, listen
  • Don’t be afraid to state why you don’t agree, but say it with love.
  • Empathize with your partner. If you put yourself in the other’s shoes, you may view the situation differently.

Here are Tony’s tips:

  • At least try to compromise, if you are in a relationship
  • Try to understand your partner’s concern
  • Remember who you are. Do you feel like a piece of yourself would die if you gave up something you love doing? If so, that’s the time to stand your ground, but don’t let it destroy your relationship. Keep loving each other.

Have you tried any of these tips? What is your process for compromising? Leave your comments.

Episode 7: When to Leave Your Partner’s Things Alone


Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
 

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Respect the Other’s Things

In this podcast, Tony and Jill agreed on their relationship advice: Respect the other’s stuff and boundaries. Don’t just automatically throw things away.

Whew! Now that we got that straight, let’s review Jill’s advice on how to gain or maintain a healthy relationship:

  • Keep your identity. Often when people get into relationships, they stop being who they are. Don’t do that. It’s fine, of course, to act as one and do things as a couple , but if you don’t have all the same interests, that’s acceptable, too.
  • Allow yourself some space from each other every now and then. For example, Tony has the basement to go to without Jill following him there. As you heard in the podcast, Jill’s working on getting her own creative space, too.
  • Make it a priority each day to spend time together in the same room. That’s what we do each evening before bedtime.

Tony has some suggestions as well:

  • Remember that you and your partner are both individuals. Respect them, their space, and their belongings.
  • Do not get angry just because they placed their things some place that you wouldn’t. Instead, calmly talk about it. You’ll likely compromise, which means a win-win situation.
  • If it looks like your partner is becoming a hoarder, seek professional help.

Does your partner have a problem with respecting boundaries and/or your things? What do you do about it? Leave us your comments.

Episode 6: You Might be Bougie

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Be Yourself

In this podcast, Tony advised you to be yourself and not pay attention to others’ perception of you; Jill expanded upon that tip by urging you to resist labels.

Those tips led to more advice. Here is what Jill offered:

  • Don’t be afraid to show who you really are from the beginning. If you’re dating someone and they don’t like the real you, move on. Be with a person who appreciates you for you.
  • If your loved one shows behavior you truly cannot tolerate, don’t think that marrying him or her will change that. It may get worse after that.
  • Trust your instincts about people. It’s usually right.

Tony has more advice to give, too:

  • Remember that if you are being your true self, it doesn’t matter in the big picture.
  • Show people who you are, not who or what you think they want to see.
  • Do your best to be kind and loving to everyone you know and meet.

Which relationship advice is your favorite? Leave your comments.

Episode 5: Is the Title of Husband or Wife Enough?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Just Don’t Do That

In this podcast, Tony and Jill had a first: Tony actually admitted that Jill was right! They both even gave the same advice to just stop saying or doing something that the other person in your relationship doesn’t like.

Both have other relationship advice. Here are Tony’s tips:

  • If you are married, do the type of things you did with your partner when you were dating. You might find that you enjoy it even more now, than when you were dating.
  • Keep your relationship fresh and fun.
  • Remember that what is most important is their happiness and yours.  

Here are Jill’s suggestions:

  • Don’t be afraid to speak up if your partner is saying something that bothers you. You don’t have to yell or scream, but don’t let it fester.
  • Give the person a chance to explain what they meant by what they said. You may have misunderstood.
  • If it is a misunderstanding, laugh about it together later. It will make you both realize that not everything is a battle and how far you’ve grown as a couple together.

Do you agree with any of these tips? What do you do when your loved one says something you don’t like? Leave your comments.

Episode 4: Is There an Instigator in Your Relationship?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Spread Positivity

In our podcast, Tony advised those of you who feel a need to talk to people to do it with positivity; do not insert negativity into it at all. Jill agreed with that, but suggested that the best way to do that is to stay out of other people’s business anyway.

That discussion led to the two coming up with more tips. Here are Tony’s:

  • Make sure you’re happy with yourself before you butt into another person’s life. If you give advice when you’re not happy with yourself, you will probably give them bad advice.
  • If you are indeed an instigator, accept that, but also understand that nothing good will ever happen if you instigate in a negative way.
  • Assess the situation and the people you approach. Sometimes it is best to just stay out of other people’s business.

Jill agreed with Tony’s last tip, of course. Here are her other tips:

  • Remember that everyone has a certain timeline and way they want to do things. Just because you wouldn’t do it how and when they would doesn’t mean their approach is wrong.
  • Spend more time determining how to improve yourself, not everyone else’s life. Chances are they didn’t ask for or need your help.
  • If they do ask for your input, give them your honest opinion without being harsh or critical of who they are.

So, do you have an instigator in your relationship? Is Tony an instigator? Please leave your comments.

Episode 3: Is There a Flunky in Your Life?


Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
 

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Don’t be so Serious in a Serious Relationship

In our podcast, Jill said to not call or make the other person in your relationship feel like a flunky. She does not believe anyone should be called that.

Instead, she has other tips for those who want to gain or maintain a healthy and happy relationship:

  • She mentioned it earlier in the podcast, but to reiterate, admit when the other person is right, even if that is true only a few times. The other person will still appreciate your acknowledging those rare occasions.
  • Recognize each of your strengths and weaknesses, then work to enhance or complement each other. Chances are you’ll become better together. Teamwork.
  • Respect each other’s roles and positions in the relationship. No one should feel inferior.

Tony told you to accept your partner’s words that you are not a flunky. He has some other good advice, too:

  • It is not always that important to prove that you’re right. Yes, we do it often enough, but we don’t take our disagreements that seriously.
  • Consider that you might be wrong…even though you believe you’re right.
  • Above all, remember that all of these small disagreements don’t matter in the big picture of life. Loving one another is more important than all else.

What tips do you have for those who are trying to determine which roles to embrace in their relationship? Let us know in the Comments section.

Episode 2: What Makes a Person a Writer?

Episode 2- What Makes a Person a Writer?
Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

In All Seriousness

Love and Decisions

In this week’s podcast, Jill advised listeners, especially those in a new relationship, to avoid changing a person. She said that if you feel the need to do that, then that person probably isn’t the right one for you.

To elaborate on that thought, she has more tips:

  • As Maya Angelou said, “If someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” If that is someone you do not like or cannot tolerate, move forward in your life without that person in it.
  • Speaking of tolerating people, remember that no one is perfect. Assess if you can tolerate the things they do that drive you crazy or whether it is truly a deal breaker.
  • Understand that you cannot–or should not–try to change a person’s personality. Trying to get them to change bad habits, however, is an acceptable practice.

In our podcast, Tony talked about the importance of listening, not letting your ego get in the way of hearing.

To expand upon that, he has more advice:

  • When you are truly listening, you can work together. Do that on all things that you can.
  • Find someone that you believe is a little better–whatever way you define that–than you. You can only become stronger and better together.
  • It is essential that you are actually in love with the person you’re with and that they are your best friend. Just loving a person isn’t enough. It’s hard to have a happy, long-lasting, loving relationship if you’re not truly in love. Apply the golden rule: love and respect your mate the way you want to be loved and respected.

What advice do you have for maintaining a relationship? Tell us in the comments section.

Episode 1: When is a Date a Date?

Episode 1- When Is a Date a Date?
Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

Subscribe for Free to Our Podcast

.

In All Seriousness

Dating Do’s and a Don’t

Yes, we like to joke a lot about relationships, but we can also be serious enough to offer real advice.

In our podcast, Tony suggested that you bend your knees when you kiss a woman that’s 4’11. He has some great tips, however, if you’re just starting to date–whatever way you define that–someone:

  • Pay attention to the person you’re pursuing, for example.
  • Listen to what he/she says, and what he/she doesn’t say.
  • Look into the person’s eyes as he/she talks. If you’re really paying attention, you’ll learn a lot.

Jill also has some tips:

  • Don’t focus on what the person does for a living; be open to learning who the person really is by asking questions.
  • Know not only what your deal breakers are, but also what you can tolerate. No one is perfect enough to match everything on your list of criteria (everyone has one, whether they admit it or not).
  • Look for someone who can make you laugh. That comes in handy on your bad days.

What relationship advice do you have to share? Post your comments.