advice

Episode 48: Soulmates: Just One per Person?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

Destined to Meet and Connect

In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony discussed whether people have more than one soulmate in a lifetime. The definition of soulmate can vary, they said, but they believe you can have more than one.

Tony told listeners to avoid forcing someone to be their soulmate.

Meanwhile, Jill told listeners to assess how much they are connected to another person to determine whether they are a soulmate.

Both agree on the following advice:

  • Do not be quick to label a person as a soulmate, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. Give the relationship time.
  • If the other person does not define you as a soulmate, understand that everyone has different interpretations of what a soulmate is. They may love you just as much as you love them, but they may defy labels.
  • If you lose the person you viewed as a soulmate, take the time to mourn that loss. Be open to love again.

How many soulmates do you think people get in a lifetime? Leave your answers in the comments section.

Also, please let us know what relationship-related question you’d like us to answer. We prefer audio files, no more than 90 seconds please, but we’ll accept written questions as well.

Episode 47: Is it Realistic to Forgive and Forget?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

Is a Grudge the Same as Not Forgetting?

In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony discussed whether forgiving and truly forgetting is achievable.

Tony encouraged listeners to forgive and forget, but he also said that there are some situations that you should remember, so that you don’t get burned the next time.

Meanwhile, Jill told listeners who don’t have a good memory to work on improving it because it will help with future relationships.

They both have the following advice for all listeners:

  • Do not hold grudges. They hurt you.
  • Understand that forgiveness is intended to help you.
  • If you find that you can neither forgive nor forget what someone has done to you, find the courage to leave the relationship because the situation will become a wall between the two of you.

Have you ever been able to forgive and forget? If so, how did you do it? Leave your answers in the comments section.

Also, leave a question that you’d like to see us address. We prefer that you send us an audio file, limited to 90 seconds, of your asking the question, but we will also accept written questions. We will select ones to share with our entire audience starting in Season 2, which begins in January 2020.

Episode 46: Dating Friends: A Good Idea?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

Friends and Lovers

In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony discussed the pros and cons of dating someone who was just a friend first.

Tony told listeners to take their time to figure out who your love interest truly is. Figure out what or if they are hiding anything.

Meanwhile Jill encouraged listeners to be honest with themselves and their friends. If you find yourself falling for your friend, let them know.

They both have more advice:

  • Assess whether you just love your friend or whether you’re in love. There’s a difference
  • Understand that your friendship will change–for the better or worse–once you become a couple. Rarely can one go back to the way it was, but sometimes you were meant to be together, so don’t let that stop you from trying
  • Listen to your heart

Have you ever dated someone who was just a friend? Did it work out for you? Leave your answers in the comments section. Don’t forget to subscribe, so that you don’t miss any episodes.

Episode 45: Are Training and Teaching the Same Thing in Relationships?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

Words Matter

In this week’s episode, Tony was offended by Jill saying that she has trained him to change a few of his habits. He agreed, however, that partners can teach each other. In short, training and teaching were interchangeable for Jill, but not for Tony.

He told listeners that if you are in a relationship with someone who says you have been trained by them, respond to them in a calm manner that the word “trained” is incorrect.

Meanwhile, Jill encouraged listeners to help each other grow. If you use certain words that offend your partner, use other words.

Together, they have more advice:

  • Let your partner know what upsets you, but make sure you do it in a loving way
  • Listen to each other
  • Recognize that compromises are intended to be win-win outcomes

What do you think about conditioning your partner to change behaviors that suit you better? Leave your answers in the comments section. Let us know what topics you’d like to hear us tackle.

Episode 44: What if There Were two of You?

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

All Things in Moderation

In this week’s episode, we discussed what Tony would do if there were two of Jill.

He loves Jill, of course, but he made it clear that he could handle only one of her.

As a tip, he told listeners to fully evaluate their mate, as well as the people their partner hangs with.

Meanwhile, Jill advised listeners to realize that the person they like or love is often part of a package deal, meaning they come with others.

Once again this week, the two worked on suggestions together:

  • Cherish what you love about your partner
  • Do not try to change personalities; talk about why behaviors need to change, but remember why you fell in love in the first place
  • Accept the things you cannot change

What would you do if there two of your partner? Leave your answers in the comments section.

Episode 43: Don’t Dwell on Labels

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

Be who you Are

In this week’s episode, Jill lovingly called Tony a nerd or a geek.

He denied it.

Jill told listeners that his denials do not matter because few of us can change someone’s perception of us.

Meanwhile, Tony also advised listeners to embrace who they are.

This week, the two worked on their tips together:

  • Determine what you want to be known for and act accordingly
  • Understand that you can’t change whether people will label you or not, but you can control how much attention you give it
  • Don’t focus on things and views you cannot control

What advice would you offer? Leave your answers in the comments section.

Episode 41: You Might be Wrong

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
Attend our Inaugural Meetup on Oct. 26
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In All Seriousness

The Need to Feel Right

This topic of this week’s episode was a special one because it was, in part, the idea of another podcaster, David Payne. David hosts the wildly popular and highly-ranked podcast, Somebody Somewhere, which investigates and uncover clues in unsolved, high-profile cases. Make sure you check it the binge-worthy show because it is amazing what he and executive producer, Jody Gottlieb, consistently discover and reveal in each episode.

Recently, David and Jill, who have known each other since their CNN.com days, spoke about the need to feel right, which led to Jill interviewing a neuroscientist, Dr. Dean Burnett, about whether the brain is wired for that. David used an excerpt of that interview in a recent episode, and so did Jill and Tony in this week’s podcast. In fact, Tony and Jill admitted to times they were wrong in their relationship with each other.

Tony also told listeners to look deeper within themselves, within their life, at decisions they’ve made.

His other tips include the following:

  • Remember that no one is right all the time.
  • Even if you think you’re right, take the time to truly listen to your partner’s viewpoint
  • Keep your mind and heart open. That’s the best way to open your ears to listen.

Jill also offered advice by telling listeners to judge others less since everyone has flaws.

She also has the following suggestions:

  • Be honest with yourself about why you feel the need to be right
  • Listen. Listen. Listen
  • Let unimportant arguments go

How do you handle being right or wrong in your relationship? In life? Leave your answers in the comment section. Don’t forget to join us at our first podcast-related meetup on Oct. 26.

Episode 39: When Pet Peeves Enter Your Relationship

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

Pet Peeves: Everybody Has Them

In this week’s episode, Tony and Jill discussed their pet peeves, from the proper installation of toilet paper rolls to making the bed the right way.

So, what does you do if your partner is guilty of all your pet peeves?

Tony told listeners to run. Let that sink in for a moment.

He, of course, has more advice:

  • Communication is always the best policy when your loved one does something that irritates you
  • Remember to be calm when you tell them. Few people respond well when you yell or scream at them.
  • I was only half joking about running. If you talk to your partner about your pet peeves, and they purposely still do them, then you may need to remove yourself from the relationship.

Jill also urged listeners talk it out with their partner.

As always, she has other tips:

  • Recognize if you need to be direct instead of giving hints about your pet peeves
  • Realize that your partner has pet peeves, too, and try to alter your behavior accordingly
  • Don’t let your pet peeves turn you into a nag

What are your pet peeves? How do you handle letting your partner know if they are guilty of doing any of them?

Leave your responses in the comments section.

Also, try to join us for our podcast-related meetup and Jill’s free workshop for writers, both scheduled for Oct. 26.

Episode 38: When Your Relationship Changes Because you Did

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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Coming Soon: The I’m Right! I’m Right Meetup
Saturday, Oct. 26
2:30 p.m. – 4:30 p.m.
Huey Luey’s Mexican Kitchen
(You can buy whatever food and drink you want)
Rooftop Seating Area
3338 Cobb Parkway
Acworth, GA 30101


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In All Seriousness

Expect to Evolve, Hope to Grow Together

In this week’s episode, Tony and Jill discussed how much they’ve changed since they first met. In their case, they believe their change, especially when they changed together, helped them reach an all-time high in their relationship. In essence, they believed their changes–individual ones and those they did as a couple–were mostly positive.

Jill brought up the times her changes resulted in a significant weight gain. She thanked Tony for not loving her any less.

Jill told listeners to avoid being a dream killer.

As always, she has other tips:

  • Expect change. Few people stay the same forever.
  • Embrace growth. Change is often a sign of moving forward.
  • Avoid staying in the past. Remember that you can’t change what has already happened, but you can grow and progress in the days ahead.

Tony advised listeners, when meeting someone, to really take the time to know the person.

He suggested they also do the following:

  • Be honest with yourself and with each other about changes.
  • Consider that change can either enhance or destroy a relationship, but don’t make snap judgments about it.
  • Strive for open communication, no matter the changes.

In what ways have you changed during your relationship with your significant other? How did your partner respond? Have you followed any of Jill and Tony’s suggestions? Which ones? Leave your responses in the comments section at the bottom of this page.

Thanks as always for your support. Join Jill and Tony in person at their first meetup related to this podcast. Details are near the top of this page.

Episode 37: The Myth About Introverts

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness

You May Be an Introvert

In this week’s episode, Jill revealed that she is actually an introvert when it comes to what energy makes her thrive; whereas Tony said he is either a hybrid of an introvert and an extrovert, or maybe he’s an extrovert.

You may not believe their conclusions, but it’s true, even if they only realized that about themselves recently.

In the podcast, Tony encouraged people to connect with others, regardless of whether they are an introvert or extrovert, in order to have a fulfilling life. He said you only need a few close friends.

He also has these tips:

  • Recognize that it doesn’t matter whether you are introverted or extroverted, as long as it doesn’t negatively affect your professional and personal life.
  • Avoid being a hermit. Do the things you enjoy outside of your home, even occasionally.
  • If you are an extrovert, do not try to outshine others around you, especially if you are in a relationship with an introvert.

Meanwhile, Jill told listeners to be who they really are, but try to step up if they have to in order to achieve their goals.

Her other suggestions are for introverts, like her:

  • Face your fears. For example, if it terrifies you to deliver a presentation or a speech, learn how to get out of your comfort zone by joining Toastmasters or finding help in another form.
  • Do not try to change your personality, even if someone else would prefer if you did. Instead, work on improving behaviors that you believe may be holding you back from meaningful roles and relationships.
  • Make time for self-care. If you find mandatory social gatherings draining, take the time to do the things that rejuvenate and relax after the event is over.

Do you believe Jill and Tony’s conclusions about themselves? How do you navigate social gatherings if you’re in a relationship with an introvert, but you are an extrovert, or vice-versa? Leave your responses in the comments section.

Thanks for your support. Keep listening!