In this episode, Tony and Jill actually agreed that age differences should not matter, as long as one isn’t in a position of power over the other. In fact, Tony urged listeners to not pursue their professor.
He had other thoughts as well on the topic:
An age difference in a relationship shouldn’t matter as long as the two of you are equally yoked and love each other.
If one person is 18, and the other is 45, this is probably a case where age matters. The 18-year-old brain is not developed enough to understand what they are truly getting into. This also applies to teacher and student relationships.
Older women with younger men can be a good thing if they’re both looking for the same thing. But older men with women that are 40 years younger may not be a good thing. In this case, each person is in the relationship for different reasons. They may say they’re in love, but what kind of love is it? Time will tell.
Jill said that if you find you’re compatible with someone, don’t let an age difference stop you from seeing where the relationship will go, unless, of course, one has power over the other.
She had other thoughts, too:
If you find yourself consistently attracted to someone older, but the relationship never works out, don’t be afraid to date someone who is younger or your age. Remember that you cannot expect different results, if you keep doing the same thing.
Stay open to seeing who people really are. Often, all is not what it seems.
Determine why you and your partner want to be in the relationship. Some just want to have fun, while others want a commitment. Make sure the two of you are on the same page.
Do you believe that age is just a number when it comes to relationships? Why or why not? Leave your answers in the comments section.
In this week’s episode, Tony admitted that he often blames Jill for things that aren’t her fault. By the end of the episode, he told listeners to try to change that habit, if they, too, often blame others for everything. He offered other advice:
Consider how blame affects your partner. Adjust accordingly.
Choose your words wisely with everyone, but especially when you feel the need to accuse your partner of something.
If you’re lucky, your partner may understand that you just don’t know how to properly ask a question.
During the episode, Jill conceded that she knows that Tony does not mean any harm when he accuses her of things she had nothing to do with; she’s learned to tolerate it. She has other tips as well:
Remember that words and tone both matter.
Train people to treat you the way you wanted to be treated.
Let your partners know your deal breakers early in your relationship.
What advice do you have? Leave your responses in the comments section.
In this week’s episode, Jill encouraged listeners to be who they are. She told everyone that if they feel moved to cry, then there is no shame in doing so. Tony agreed, but added that everyone, especially men, need to be selective about where they are seen crying.
Tony had more thoughts on the topic for men:
There appears to be a double standard for men and women when it comes to crying, and that’s sad. Maybe one day it will be okay for men to cry whenever they feel the need to do so.
With that said, it is fine if a man cries at a funeral or if he cries because someone hurt him or his feelings.
If you find yourself crying all the time for no apparent reason, you might be depressed. Please seek professional help.
Jill has more to say as well:
Yes, crying can indeed be a sign of depression. Do not be ashamed to talk to a professional about it.
Remember that crying can also indicate that you are a human who can be moved.
If you feel the need to cry at work, excuse yourself and do it privately. Otherwise, that can work against you. Also if work brings you to a breaking point often, you may want to consider finding another job or career.
Do you believe it’s okay if men and women cry? What advice do you have to offer? Please leave your comments and response in the comments section.
In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony actually agreed that you should be who you are, instead of being someone you’re not, a fake.
Tony had more to add:
If you find yourself fighting often with your partner, try talking to each other. Tell them what you love about them, but also voice your concerns. Consider talking to a relationship expert together. If all fails, be courageous and leave the relationship.
If you are a single person, look for someone who is your friend and your lover.
Do not settle for anyone. Take your time to find the right match for you.
Jill also has some advice:
Do not dwell on what others say about you or your relationships. This is your life, your business, not theirs.
In the words of Maya Angelou, “If someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
Remember that no one is perfect, including you. Recognize what you can tolerate in others, and what your deal breakers are. Give them a chance to do the same with your flaws.
Do you ever get accused of being fake? How have you handled that situation? Leave your comments. We’d love it if you subscribed, too.
In this week’s podcast, Tony and Jill kept using words that can be detrimental to a relationship like “mine” and “yours.” Jill said that you can still use those words and keep the peace as long as you also define what “ours” means to you and your partner.
Her other advice expands upon that idea:
Recognize and respect all three categories of mine, yours, and ours. Yes, you may be a couple, but you’re still individuals, too, possibly with different interests and goals.
Cheer each other on with genuine enthusiasm
Realize that a win for your partner is a win for you, too
In keeping with the swag theme, Tony said that if people want to be kind to you, respond with “thank you” and enjoy whatever they give you.
He has more suggestions along those lines:
Understand that it’s fine to accept swag or maybe even a gift, as long as the giver doesn’t want something inappropriate from you in return
Consider declining swag or a gift if it makes your partner uncomfortable
If you do accept swag or a gift, make sure you share it with your partner. That way, everybody is happy.
What is your opinion about accepting swag you didn’t earn? Who do you think won this podcast debate? Leave us your thoughts in the comments section.
In this podcast, Tony and Jill were more serious than usual because the dangers of riding a motorcycle were discussed.
If you listened to the end, however, you know that their relationship advice was on the comical side. For example, Tony said that while he believes in compromising, sometimes you just have to stand your ground. Jill, on the other hand, urged listeners to offer compromises to their partners, but said that if they don’t take it, then “Oh well.”
The two still have other tips to offer if you and your partner are trying to agree on something.
Here are Jill’s tips:
Listen, listen, listen
Don’t be afraid to state why you don’t agree, but say it with love.
Empathize with your partner. If you put yourself in the other’s shoes, you may view the situation differently.
Here are Tony’s tips:
At least try to compromise, if you are in a relationship
Try to understand your partner’s concern
Remember who you are. Do you feel like a piece of yourself would die if you gave up something you love doing? If so, that’s the time to stand your ground, but don’t let it destroy your relationship. Keep loving each other.
Have you tried any of these tips? What is your process for compromising? Leave your comments.
In this podcast, Tony and Jill agreed on their relationship advice: Respect the other’s stuff and boundaries. Don’t just automatically throw things away.
Whew! Now that we got that straight, let’s review Jill’s advice on how to gain or maintain a healthy relationship:
Keep your identity. Often when people get into relationships, they stop being who they are. Don’t do that. It’s fine, of course, to act as one and do things as a couple , but if you don’t have all the same interests, that’s acceptable, too.
Allow yourself some space from each other every now and then. For example, Tony has the basement to go to without Jill following him there. As you heard in the podcast, Jill’s working on getting her own creative space, too.
Make it a priority each day to spend time together in the same room. That’s what we do each evening before bedtime.
Tony has some suggestions as well:
Remember that you and your partner are both individuals. Respect them, their space, and their belongings.
Do not get angry just because they placed their things some place that you wouldn’t. Instead, calmly talk about it. You’ll likely compromise, which means a win-win situation.
If it looks like your partner is becoming a hoarder, seek professional help.
Does your partner have a problem with respecting boundaries and/or your things? What do you do about it? Leave us your comments.