In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony discussed whether people have more than one soulmate in a lifetime. The definition of soulmate can vary, they said, but they believe you can have more than one.
Tony told listeners to avoid forcing someone to be their soulmate.
Meanwhile, Jill told listeners to assess how much they are connected to another person to determine whether they are a soulmate.
Both agree on the following advice:
Do not be quick to label a person as a soulmate, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. Give the relationship time.
If the other person does not define you as a soulmate, understand that everyone has different interpretations of what a soulmate is. They may love you just as much as you love them, but they may defy labels.
If you lose the person you viewed as a soulmate, take the time to mourn that loss. Be open to love again.
How many soulmates do you think people get in a lifetime? Leave your answers in the comments section.
Also, please let us know what relationship-related question you’d like us to answer. We prefer audio files, no more than 90 seconds please, but we’ll accept written questions as well.
In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony discussed whether forgiving and truly forgetting is achievable.
Tony encouraged listeners to forgive and forget, but he also said that there are some situations that you should remember, so that you don’t get burned the next time.
Meanwhile, Jill told listeners who don’t have a good memory to work on improving it because it will help with future relationships.
They both have the following advice for all listeners:
Do not hold grudges. They hurt you.
Understand that forgiveness is intended to help you.
If you find that you can neither forgive nor forget what someone has done to you, find the courage to leave the relationship because the situation will become a wall between the two of you.
Have you ever been able to forgive and forget? If so, how did you do it? Leave your answers in the comments section.
Also, leave a question that you’d like to see us address. We prefer that you send us an audio file, limited to 90 seconds, of your asking the question, but we will also accept written questions. We will select ones to share with our entire audience starting in Season 2, which begins in January 2020.
In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony discussed the pros and cons of dating someone who was just a friend first.
Tony told listeners to take their time to figure out who your love interest truly is. Figure out what or if they are hiding anything.
Meanwhile Jill encouraged listeners to be honest with themselves and their friends. If you find yourself falling for your friend, let them know.
They both have more advice:
Assess whether you just love your friend or whether you’re in love. There’s a difference
Understand that your friendship will change–for the better or worse–once you become a couple. Rarely can one go back to the way it was, but sometimes you were meant to be together, so don’t let that stop you from trying
Listen to your heart
Have you ever dated someone who was just a friend? Did it work out for you? Leave your answers in the comments section. Don’t forget to subscribe, so that you don’t miss any episodes.
In this week’s episode, Tony was offended by Jill saying that she has trained him to change a few of his habits. He agreed, however, that partners can teach each other. In short, training and teaching were interchangeable for Jill, but not for Tony.
He told listeners that if you are in a relationship with someone who says you have been trained by them, respond to them in a calm manner that the word “trained” is incorrect.
Meanwhile, Jill encouraged listeners to help each other grow. If you use certain words that offend your partner, use other words.
Together, they have more advice:
Let your partner know what upsets you, but make sure you do it in a loving way
Listen to each other
Recognize that compromises are intended to be win-win outcomes
What do you think about conditioning your partner to change behaviors that suit you better? Leave your answers in the comments section. Let us know what topics you’d like to hear us tackle.
This topic of this week’s episode was a special one because it was, in part, the idea of another podcaster, David Payne. David hosts the wildly popular and highly-ranked podcast, Somebody Somewhere, which investigates and uncover clues in unsolved, high-profile cases. Make sure you check it the binge-worthy show because it is amazing what he and executive producer, Jody Gottlieb, consistently discover and reveal in each episode.
Recently, David and Jill, who have known each other since their CNN.com days, spoke about the need to feel right, which led to Jill interviewing a neuroscientist, Dr. Dean Burnett, about whether the brain is wired for that. David used an excerpt of that interview in a recent episode, and so did Jill and Tony in this week’s podcast. In fact, Tony and Jill admitted to times they were wrong in their relationship with each other.
Tony also told listeners to look deeper within themselves, within their life, at decisions they’ve made.
His other tips include the following:
Remember that no one is right all the time.
Even if you think you’re right, take the time to truly listen to your partner’s viewpoint
Keep your mind and heart open. That’s the best way to open your ears to listen.
Jill also offered advice by telling listeners to judge others less since everyone has flaws.
She also has the following suggestions:
Be honest with yourself about why you feel the need to be right
In this week’s episode, Tony and Jill discussed how much they’ve changed since they first met. In their case, they believe their change, especially when they changed together, helped them reach an all-time high in their relationship. In essence, they believed their changes–individual ones and those they did as a couple–were mostly positive.
Jill brought up the times her changes resulted in a significant weight gain. She thanked Tony for not loving her any less.
Jill told listeners to avoid being a dream killer.
As always, she has other tips:
Expect change. Few people stay the same forever.
Embrace growth. Change is often a sign of moving forward.
Avoid staying in the past. Remember that you can’t change what has already happened, but you can grow and progress in the days ahead.
Tony advised listeners, when meeting someone, to really take the time to know the person.
He suggested they also do the following:
Be honest with yourself and with each other about changes.
Consider that change can either enhance or destroy a relationship, but don’t make snap judgments about it.
Strive for open communication, no matter the changes.
In what ways have you changed during your relationship with your significant other? How did your partner respond? Have you followed any of Jill and Tony’s suggestions? Which ones? Leave your responses in the comments section at the bottom of this page.
Thanks as always for your support. Join Jill and Tony in person at their first meetup related to this podcast. Details are near the top of this page.
In this week’s episode, Jill revealed that she is actually an introvert when it comes to what energy makes her thrive; whereas Tony said he is either a hybrid of an introvert and an extrovert, or maybe he’s an extrovert.
You may not believe their conclusions, but it’s true, even if they only realized that about themselves recently.
In the podcast, Tony encouraged people to connect with others, regardless of whether they are an introvert or extrovert, in order to have a fulfilling life. He said you only need a few close friends.
He also has these tips:
Recognize that it doesn’t matter whether you are introverted or extroverted, as long as it doesn’t negatively affect your professional and personal life.
Avoid being a hermit. Do the things you enjoy outside of your home, even occasionally.
If you are an extrovert, do not try to outshine others around you, especially if you are in a relationship with an introvert.
Meanwhile, Jill told listeners to be who they really are, but try to step up if they have to in order to achieve their goals.
Her other suggestions are for introverts, like her:
Face your fears. For example, if it terrifies you to deliver a presentation or a speech, learn how to get out of your comfort zone by joining Toastmasters or finding help in another form.
Do not try to change your personality, even if someone else would prefer if you did. Instead, work on improving behaviors that you believe may be holding you back from meaningful roles and relationships.
Make time for self-care. If you find mandatory social gatherings draining, take the time to do the things that rejuvenate and relax after the event is over.
Do you believe Jill and Tony’s conclusions about themselves? How do you navigate social gatherings if you’re in a relationship with an introvert, but you are an extrovert, or vice-versa? Leave your responses in the comments section.