Episode 47: Is it Realistic to Forgive and Forget?
Tech Op/Editor: Anthony Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Art: Nick Zinkie
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In All Seriousness
Is a Grudge the Same as Not Forgetting?
In this week’s episode, Jill and Tony discussed whether forgiving and truly forgetting is achievable.
Tony encouraged listeners to forgive and forget, but he also said that there are some situations that you should remember, so that you don’t get burned the next time.
Meanwhile, Jill told listeners who don’t have a good memory to work on improving it because it will help with future relationships.
They both have the following advice for all listeners:
- Do not hold grudges. They hurt you.
- Understand that forgiveness is intended to help you.
- If you find that you can neither forgive nor forget what someone has done to you, find the courage to leave the relationship because the situation will become a wall between the two of you.
Have you ever been able to forgive and forget? If so, how did you do it? Leave your answers in the comments section.
Also, leave a question that you’d like to see us address. We prefer that you send us an audio file, limited to 90 seconds, of your asking the question, but we will also accept written questions. We will select ones to share with our entire audience starting in Season 2, which begins in January 2020.
I struggle with forgiveness. Like Jill I seem to have a good memory for conversations and what I perceive are people’s motives—however not so much for other things, hahaha.
I believe part of my problem with forgiveness is something Jill has mentioned a couple of times—“You can train people in how to treat you.” I didn’t realize that for the first part of my life and so let people treat me rather badly at times. Now I’m mad! I think I need to realize that I was responsible for much of that treatment, so I can forgive them. That does not mean I will forget and allow more mistreatment, but if a person changes attitudes toward me, I should work toward friendship. One strategy is to redirect my thoughts when I begin to ruminate. None of this is easy, but it is so worthwhile.
The following are two of my favorite quotes—
“When you become God, forgiveness is not suddenly bestowed upon you. Godness is bestowed upon you because you are loving and have practiced forgiveness.”
—Deo Sapien Class, Denver, CO 11/11/2011 Jerhoam Entity
“What if that difficult one is part of the creative tension to help you run the race of finding yourself?”
—Deo Sapien Class, Richmond, VA 5/8/2017 Jerhoam Entity
We appreciate your sharing your reflections, and those quotes are amazing! We think your words will help a lot of people. Thanks again.