dating

Episode 8: Wants vs. Needs, The Relationship Edition

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

The Art of Compromising

In this podcast, Tony and Jill were more serious than usual because the dangers of riding a motorcycle were discussed.

If you listened to the end, however, you know that their relationship advice was on the comical side. For example, Tony said that while he believes in compromising, sometimes you just have to stand your ground. Jill, on the other hand, urged listeners to offer compromises to their partners, but said that if they don’t take it, then “Oh well.”

The two still have other tips to offer if you and your partner are trying to agree on something.

Here are Jill’s tips:

  • Listen, listen, listen
  • Don’t be afraid to state why you don’t agree, but say it with love.
  • Empathize with your partner. If you put yourself in the other’s shoes, you may view the situation differently.

Here are Tony’s tips:

  • At least try to compromise, if you are in a relationship
  • Try to understand your partner’s concern
  • Remember who you are. Do you feel like a piece of yourself would die if you gave up something you love doing? If so, that’s the time to stand your ground, but don’t let it destroy your relationship. Keep loving each other.

Have you tried any of these tips? What is your process for compromising? Leave your comments.

Episode 7: When to Leave Your Partner’s Things Alone


Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
 

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In All Seriousness

Respect the Other’s Things

In this podcast, Tony and Jill agreed on their relationship advice: Respect the other’s stuff and boundaries. Don’t just automatically throw things away.

Whew! Now that we got that straight, let’s review Jill’s advice on how to gain or maintain a healthy relationship:

  • Keep your identity. Often when people get into relationships, they stop being who they are. Don’t do that. It’s fine, of course, to act as one and do things as a couple , but if you don’t have all the same interests, that’s acceptable, too.
  • Allow yourself some space from each other every now and then. For example, Tony has the basement to go to without Jill following him there. As you heard in the podcast, Jill’s working on getting her own creative space, too.
  • Make it a priority each day to spend time together in the same room. That’s what we do each evening before bedtime.

Tony has some suggestions as well:

  • Remember that you and your partner are both individuals. Respect them, their space, and their belongings.
  • Do not get angry just because they placed their things some place that you wouldn’t. Instead, calmly talk about it. You’ll likely compromise, which means a win-win situation.
  • If it looks like your partner is becoming a hoarder, seek professional help.

Does your partner have a problem with respecting boundaries and/or your things? What do you do about it? Leave us your comments.

Episode 6: You Might be Bougie

Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Be Yourself

In this podcast, Tony advised you to be yourself and not pay attention to others’ perception of you; Jill expanded upon that tip by urging you to resist labels.

Those tips led to more advice. Here is what Jill offered:

  • Don’t be afraid to show who you really are from the beginning. If you’re dating someone and they don’t like the real you, move on. Be with a person who appreciates you for you.
  • If your loved one shows behavior you truly cannot tolerate, don’t think that marrying him or her will change that. It may get worse after that.
  • Trust your instincts about people. It’s usually right.

Tony has more advice to give, too:

  • Remember that if you are being your true self, it doesn’t matter in the big picture.
  • Show people who you are, not who or what you think they want to see.
  • Do your best to be kind and loving to everyone you know and meet.

Which relationship advice is your favorite? Leave your comments.

Episode 3: Is There a Flunky in Your Life?


Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie
 

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In All Seriousness

Don’t be so Serious in a Serious Relationship

In our podcast, Jill said to not call or make the other person in your relationship feel like a flunky. She does not believe anyone should be called that.

Instead, she has other tips for those who want to gain or maintain a healthy and happy relationship:

  • She mentioned it earlier in the podcast, but to reiterate, admit when the other person is right, even if that is true only a few times. The other person will still appreciate your acknowledging those rare occasions.
  • Recognize each of your strengths and weaknesses, then work to enhance or complement each other. Chances are you’ll become better together. Teamwork.
  • Respect each other’s roles and positions in the relationship. No one should feel inferior.

Tony told you to accept your partner’s words that you are not a flunky. He has some other good advice, too:

  • It is not always that important to prove that you’re right. Yes, we do it often enough, but we don’t take our disagreements that seriously.
  • Consider that you might be wrong…even though you believe you’re right.
  • Above all, remember that all of these small disagreements don’t matter in the big picture of life. Loving one another is more important than all else.

What tips do you have for those who are trying to determine which roles to embrace in their relationship? Let us know in the Comments section.

Episode 2: What Makes a Person a Writer?

Episode 2- What Makes a Person a Writer?
Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Love and Decisions

In this week’s podcast, Jill advised listeners, especially those in a new relationship, to avoid changing a person. She said that if you feel the need to do that, then that person probably isn’t the right one for you.

To elaborate on that thought, she has more tips:

  • As Maya Angelou said, “If someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” If that is someone you do not like or cannot tolerate, move forward in your life without that person in it.
  • Speaking of tolerating people, remember that no one is perfect. Assess if you can tolerate the things they do that drive you crazy or whether it is truly a deal breaker.
  • Understand that you cannot–or should not–try to change a person’s personality. Trying to get them to change bad habits, however, is an acceptable practice.

In our podcast, Tony talked about the importance of listening, not letting your ego get in the way of hearing.

To expand upon that, he has more advice:

  • When you are truly listening, you can work together. Do that on all things that you can.
  • Find someone that you believe is a little better–whatever way you define that–than you. You can only become stronger and better together.
  • It is essential that you are actually in love with the person you’re with and that they are your best friend. Just loving a person isn’t enough. It’s hard to have a happy, long-lasting, loving relationship if you’re not truly in love. Apply the golden rule: love and respect your mate the way you want to be loved and respected.

What advice do you have for maintaining a relationship? Tell us in the comments section.

Episode 1: When is a Date a Date?

Episode 1- When Is a Date a Date?
Producer: Jill Cox-Cordova
Music: Gifford Ivan Cordova III
Podcast Art: Nick Zinkie

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In All Seriousness

Dating Do’s and a Don’t

Yes, we like to joke a lot about relationships, but we can also be serious enough to offer real advice.

In our podcast, Tony suggested that you bend your knees when you kiss a woman that’s 4’11. He has some great tips, however, if you’re just starting to date–whatever way you define that–someone:

  • Pay attention to the person you’re pursuing, for example.
  • Listen to what he/she says, and what he/she doesn’t say.
  • Look into the person’s eyes as he/she talks. If you’re really paying attention, you’ll learn a lot.

Jill also has some tips:

  • Don’t focus on what the person does for a living; be open to learning who the person really is by asking questions.
  • Know not only what your deal breakers are, but also what you can tolerate. No one is perfect enough to match everything on your list of criteria (everyone has one, whether they admit it or not).
  • Look for someone who can make you laugh. That comes in handy on your bad days.

What relationship advice do you have to share? Post your comments.